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Girlfriend help.

Discussion in 'Personal Support' started by datpo, Sep 6, 2014.

  1. pur3bloody

    pur3bloody Grand Master
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    Girlfriend help.

    Nah don't say that, cause then you guys will talk about it and she will try and persuade you not to break up with her and so on and so forth, it's best to just break it off and say goodbye, if she texts back, don't text her.

    One good rule is to not text an ex gf for a month, if after that month, she's been texting you and making an effort, you can text her and see where things go from there. If she really wants to be with you, she'll show it.

    However, before breaking up with her, I would have discussed the issues that are leading you to not want to be with her, maybe she'd stop snapchatting dudes for you and so on, but that's a big IF. So yeah, just cut it off man.
     
  2. Valstone

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    Girlfriend help.

    Just text her and tell her the truth about how you feel. If you don't think she is like on the bandwagon like I described then she shouldn't have a problem talking about your relationship with her. The 7/8th grade thing is just when it happened for me, the time period is irrelevant to a relationship.

    People discover things about what type of relationship they want and what makes them happy at totally different periods in there life. This just could be when it's happening for you. Maybe it's not, I'm not sure. If you don't think she's on the bandwagon, then I was wrong in making that assumption. Just how you described her really makes it seem like she is part of that "general crowd" of our generation.

    Bottom line is this. If you are in a relationship with someone and are unable to tell them how you really feel or tell them that you are unhappy then it's time to move on. If you can't tell someone who you love that they are making you sad or if you can't tell them how they could make you happy again then they probably aren't someone who you should be with.

    You need to be able to communicate with someone if you love them and tell them all the things that make you happy and know how you can make them happy. So you can always be trying your best to be happy together. If you can't communicate this to someone that you are in a relationship with then you should just be with someone else. You need to be unfront with things, as odds are they can't read your mind and won't know if you don't tell them!

    Be upfront with her and just tell her you still really care about her and want to be with her(if you still actually do) but you haven't been happy the past few weeks. Don't try to lead into it with something unrelated or sugarcoat it or whatever. If you can't tell her this upfront then it's just time to move on. You need to find someone that understands you so you are able to be happy together with them!

    That is my advice.

    If you feel like you don't love her anymore, or just don't want to be with her just tell her that. But if she doesn't want to break up with you, and still really cares about you then it would be the right thing to do to tell her why it's not working out for you and why you aren't happy anymore. Maybe she says she can fix that, maybe she can't. Either way you end up happier, and that's what we need to fix here! :)
     
  3. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    Girlfriend help.

    She already asked me to delete the app "kik" worrying if I'd talk to other girls and she did the same because she has it. A month or so ago, she tells me she reinstalled it to talk to friends from Canada. I'm guessing she's talking to more guys on there and stuff. How should I break up with her? It will be really hard to break up with her if I go to her house because her parents are always there and same with my house. I don't want to look like an asshole if I just break up with her over text. :s
     
  4. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    Girlfriend help.


    I can't really text her about it though because she will wonder how I found all the information. I don't really want to be with her anymore because she's very manipulative, narcassistic and controlling. It isn't just about what she's been doing on snapchat and stuff.
     
  5. pur3bloody

    pur3bloody Grand Master
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    eh, my gf was on some meetme dating app while we were dating, she deleted that for me as well to prove she was making an effort in the relationship, but at the same time she was messaging over 20 dudes on kik and texting at least 6 of her ex bfs. It's just not a good place to be. Aren't you two in school? Why can't you break it off in person at school? If you can't do it at her house then it's gotta be text. In this generation, texting is the normal way to do it tbh, most people are so hung up on electronics.
     
  6. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    She has iceskating from 5 to like 11. I get out of school basically when she just gets there. We don't see each other very often outside of her house or mine due to the schedule (during summer we saw each other a lot more). But ya, she snapchats like 85% dudes and I'm guessing on kik too. I just don't want to be viewed as an asshole if I break it off by text.
     
  7. pur3bloody

    pur3bloody Grand Master
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    Girlfriend help.

    You'll be fine, you won't be seen as an asshole, hell, my girlfriend broke up with me via text and I didn't think she was an asshole, she just can't have a serious conversation in person and can never be mature so I saw that as normal in her case. Just say something like "Hey, I hate to do this via text, but I don't really have a chance to do it in person. I don't like how things have been lately and I think it would be better for both of us if we went our separate ways." Something along those lines. Just end things on a good note incase you ever want to get back together or fuck her again. No point in being nasty about a break up. Good luck.
     
  8. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    Girlfriend help.

    I'm leaning toward just talking to her about it over text and if it gets bad, just to do what you say and break up with her. I might talk to my mom or dad first and see what their opinions on the deal are but thanks for the help everyone.
     
  9. Valstone

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    Girlfriend help.


    Can't you just look at her best friends on snapchat?

    Just tell her you want a girlfriend that can focus more on you and make you feel happy and loved - and that obviously, she is not doing that.

    If you were saying this to a girl you still cared about you could just say like:
    I still really love you and care about you but you aren't really making me feel loved anymore. It's just... you talk to a lot of other guys and I don't talk to any other girls but you. I am committed our relationship so please if you do really care about me I need to you commit to us too. I still love you and I want to make it work... etc.
     
  10. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    Best friends I believe are 2 guys (idk who) and her brother or someone related to her. She never really snapchats me and recently I've been the only one putting an effort forward in texting her. She will say they are all her friends, I don't understand, etc. If I tell her/show her the stuff on her snapchat she will be wondering why I'm "stalking" her like that. It's more about how she always has to be right, somewhat really bitchy with her parents, manipulative, has to be in control, really narcasistic, and she pays attention to her phone 85-90% of the time when I'm over.
     
  11. pur3bloody

    pur3bloody Grand Master
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    Girlfriend help.

    There will be women like that in this world, she is just really immature it seems and not ready for a relationship, remember, you guys are young still. There are better women out there in the world that will be the type of girlfriend you're looking for. Just gotta break it off bud. When are you going to text her? And let us know how it goes.
     
  12. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    I'm thinking about telling her tonight or tomorrow. I agree with the first part, but she's had like 2-3 boyfriends. She claims her ex was a dick and all that, but now I can see that he probably was just fed the fuck up with her. I agree also with the last part. I never wanted this relationship to last forever. She's my first girlfriend. I have no idea what "love" feels like and what it feels like being with someone different. It feels like in the beginning she was into me and now she just uses me as like her little play toy or something.

    Thanks for all the advice guys it really helped.
     
  13. pur3bloody

    pur3bloody Grand Master
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    My last ex had dozens of ex bfs and had sex with 11 dudes within 10 months before me, but she's still immature. And she's only 19 and I'm 22 so it's kinda shitty, that's why I let her go, she's not ready for a real relationship. Especially in your case, at 16-17 years old, she most likely wants to still see what's out there and doesn't want to settle with one person and get serious. Perhaps she treats you like a play toy because you may have shown her too much attention and affection and she knows she has you wrapped around her finger or something. I've been there many times. You gotta find the median between a sweet guy and an asshole, you can't be too much of either or it won't work.
     
  14. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    The wrapped around the finger part matches her. She even has said before "I have my dad wrapped around my finger". <-- exact words. I mean if I'm showing too much affection (I don't think I am?), she has me wrapped round her finger, etc, why doesn't she break up with me? That's one part that is confusing me a lot.
     
  15. pur3bloody

    pur3bloody Grand Master
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    Because she likes to feel like she's in control and that she has power over you and she probably feels that no matter what she does to hurt you, you'll always give her more chances, hence what it means to have someone wrapped around their finger. And she probably likes to feel wanted by you and she likes the attention, but at the same time, is bored so that's why she's snapping other dudes and talking to other dudes. If you end up not breaking up with her, start being distant with her and kind of rude at times, but don't take it too overboard and act like you don't even want her, that'll make her want you more. Women are crazy man.
     
  16. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    That's what I've been doing recently. Just being quiet and not really replying with very much (just a few words). I haven't been texting her really at all and she hasn't been either so that makes me think we should break up more.
     
  17. pur3bloody

    pur3bloody Grand Master
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    Yeah, if you're doing all that and she isn't saying to herself "like wtf is going on, why isn't he into me like he used to be?" or some shit like that, or trying to get your attention to make sure you like her, then it doesn't seem like she wants to be with you much either and that she doesn't really care. I'd cut her loose and move on. You're still young, got time to find many more women; better women.
     
  18. Loyal 2 da game

    Loyal 2 da game Formerly known as Loyal To The Game

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    Girlfriend help.

    i think you should just text her "it's over we're breaking up, deuces" and then never reply to her because she sucks, it's that easy bru :cool:
     
  19. datpo

    datpo Apprentice
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    Update to all: I have been texting her for a while about this and told her I need time to think about if we will still be together (probably won't), she claims her friends took her phone and did all of that and the guy who said "babe" was just messing around.... Any advice on anything else? I'll probably be breaking up with her today or tomorrow. I want to thank everyone again for the help. It means a lot.
     
  20. pur3bloody

    pur3bloody Grand Master
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    She's most likely full of shit, I doubt anyone took her phone considering she's always on it, and I highly doubt that guy was messing around. What kind of guy just says "babe" messing around? That makes no sense. Keep it going, cut her ass loose.
     
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