I want to be an tree

It is my ultimate ambition to achieve this. I have already dug up many bodies, taken their limbs and stitched them to my body to achieve a branch like effect. I'm currently in the process of stapling leaves across every single one of my limbs. I currently move everywhere in a plantpot and have drilled holes in my feet through which I pour water mixed with a mixture of proteins, sugars and fats for sustenance. It's hard going most days but I'm doing quite well.

What I need help with is finding a bark-like substance which I can completely encase myself with. After I achieve this I'm going to relocate to the Brazilian rainforest and plant myself permanently, living a sedate, peaceful treelike existence. Can anyone recommend anything else?

Inb4 OP is fgt/faggot/fag/all other variants. GG you autistic fedora wearing cunts. May your AIDs provide you with a slow and excruciating death.

Al slapp u wiv a feetus m8. Al rek u. 1v1 ma nann u cheky kunts.

 

Try truck bed liner, its available im many colors, its durable and rough like tree bark.

 

Is it cheap and dirty? I like cheap and dirty.

 

fack u fegget ima kill u n give ur boyfriend my aids


how bot I shit on u nd u be a fegget tree sun fucker n let the shit harden how bout that u hippie fag

 

"Inb4 OP is fgt/faggot/fag/all other variants. GG you autistic fedora wearing cunts. May your AIDs provide you with a slow and excruciating death."

Fuk u cheky kunt. I hop ur nan fals in da showr u fukn lil bitch. Al fukin shanck u m8y boi. ull be fukn ded 2morrow. al pisss fire and deth n agony al ovr ur mams face u cheky kunt shel fukin drown in my shitstorm of hatred u cheky kunt.

cheky kunt fgt fedora brony kunt.

fk u bitch.

fgt.

 

wtf is this

 

im alredy ded u ladyboy lyfe is a dreary shade of grey nd ur existence makes it greyer ur a vagina hating ninny
go choke on on ur daddys meatstick again


is this u fag? u look ridiculus

 

a feg bein xtra feggy bro

 

ur mums ingrown niple heir.

 

wtf howd u fnd pics of ma gf?

al fukin get ma bois on u kunt.

kunt.

 

Now pls help me be an tree.

I want to grow apples n shit out of my cockend.

 

10/10 would bang

 

I want to be a tree*

 

*an tree

L 2 Inglish pls fgt.

 

Is T a vowel now?

 

Ye its an vowl.

 

0 okey I belive u cuh u spek su nice u like a regiler captaine sulu

 

You could cover your body and extra appendages for less than $80 and its tough stuff. Use painters tape to cover the tip of your dick at the very least. Its rubber based so it offers flexability.