Lost Motivation.

hello. sorry for bad grammer. typing faster than my brain thinks....

im 20 years old, a bit fat. and look decent.

im too shy to talk to people. dont say anything really. ignoring alot and thinking im doing everything wrong. i cant just get my motivation back. and im just sitting home everyday and doing nothing actually. just thinking about what im doing with my life. im never happy or anything. have been thinking to do suicide, but did think on my family before i did it. nothing really keeping me to be here.

that the short story i guess. been on 4 years now. before that time i was popular and did go to parties etc, every week. but turned into a unsocial loser with no friends anymore suddenly.

have been to a doctor. not much to help.

Thanks.!

 

You've already told us what the problem is.. So solve it.
Committing suicide is never the right option, you'd just be being selfish to your family and friends.

Just start doing things you don't want to do. Go for a jog and start eating healthy foods (increases endorphins which make you happy). You're doing nothing when you have the potential to do everything. Get yourself a job too, that will take up a lot of time and keep you from getting bored.
Your problem is rather simple to fix, you're just doing nothing about it.

 

Sounds like the only thing stopping you is yourself, just put the worries aside and motivate yourself to get up and change the things your unhappy about. As shoop said suicide is a permanent fix to a temporary problem, and will only hurt your family. To lose some weight just go out and walk a bit, even if it's just for 20 minutes a day, and monitor your diet, eventually the weight will start to fall off. I know this may sound strange but to get over being shy just practice your conversation skills with anyone that you come in contact with on a daily basis at first, or even with yourself as crazy as it sounds it will help you get over your fear of public speaking, assuming that's the problem. I'm sure you'll be able to find a decent job as long as you motivate yourself enough to want it, if you want to change some thing bad enough it will happen.

 

Well for starters you need to go to gym and workout, lose that fat. Confidence is based on how you see yourself, if you look fat you won't have much. Occupy your time with some productive for example: Internship, part time job, or even go back to school. Setting goals for yourself and meeting a benchmark is a good way to stay on track. Try it out

 

As BGlave mentioned I would suggest getting out to the gym. Just so sole fact that you're going to the gym gives you confidence. Sitting at home is not doing anything, you need to take the initiative to just go out and do it. Once you get going it'll be a game changer. That way you're doing something productive!

You can do it man! If you need anything in regards to tips, routines or maybe even someone just to talk to please PM me.

 

Suicide is never the answer im 16 not even a fully grown man and know this ive contemplated it but is it really worth it? No, life is short on its own terms so live it to the fullest until your time comes; stop being afraid of life and take it head on, stop thinking about everything and just do it. there is no need to kill yourself it will all happen by its self, but for now do what ever you can to prolonge the time and try to make the time worth it, die on your feet but dont live on your knees.

 

Another big lesson i learned is to treat people the way you want to be treated, go out there and be positive and you will get positivity and motivation back, this might not happen all the time but atleast you know you are doing the right thing and the people that give negative energy probably need help so talk to them they might be in the same predicament that you were in.

 

is there anything that caused you to feel the way you're feeling?

 

Go to the gym.
Lose that weight.
While your at the gym. Meet some new people , there will be someone who will talk to you. You'll get social don't worry.

 

Being social is a required trait for human survival. I assume you're still living with your folks? Once you get your own place and start going shopping on a weekly basis, do laundry at the laundromat and start going to work you'll naturally develop the skills necessary to talk to others. Don't worry too much about it. If you're a naturally shy person that's quite alright. I've glanced at a study that reported 15% of Americans are born shy while at least 50% report that they are. It's either a phase you'll grow out of or something you'll learn to live with. Being shy doesn't mean you HAVE to exclude people from your life. You are just choosing to do so at this time.

I can relate to you entirely. My work requires me to stay indoors most of the time and I do sacrifice face-to-face interaction with others. It's just your predicament at this time that is causing you to feel lonely. Get a part-time job at somewhere fun and busy, you'll get a lot of practice talking to people if customer service is part of your job description (food service, retail, etc.) If you're still in school, don't pass up opportunities to make some friends! I sincerely wish you the best of luck and would love to hear your progress if you'd like to update this thread from time to time.

 

Hello and thanks for all responds. i was at the doctor yesterday and he told me i have pneumonia. so i will mostly be in my bed the next days to get fresh.

And just to mention that i forgot in the first post. im from Denmark. and not from america. so things are a bit different.

yea. i know it gonna sound a bit weird, but it happened when a dude hit me in the head with a stone at a party, and i did blackout. i woke up next day in my bed and could not remember what happened. but i heard what happened from a friend. suddenly day after day i just got more unsocial and was like scared from people. like that dude triggered a anxiety/shyness or something then he hit me.


my diet is decent but could have been better. but i only have one problem that im never hungry in the morning. so i never get breakfast. otherwise i get 2-4 meals everyday. i know that are pretty bad. but I hold the weight and that alway something.


im starting on a education January 1, as a IT support or data technician not sure yet what im gonna choose. but yea i just hope im not gonna be that ''outsider'' since i have been that the last years now.


im a friendly/positive guy. and threat other how i like to be threaten. but i just dont speak/talk too much. like im scared for something or just cant find anything to say.


i have actually never been in gym. ( only 2-3 times max ) never liked it. but i cant afford it before i start on my education January 1. but maybe i can finde some exercises i can do home then i when I get healthy.


i will try to find a routine or if anyone know a good one i would be happy to hear about it.

Thanks in advance. will come back when I get healthy and meanwhile i will try to find some relaxing music to hear.

 

Have you ever thought of seeing a doctor about your head? Tell him/her what happened and how you're feeling now etc..

 

did you visit a doctor or anything about a possible the head injury?

What is your sleeping pattern in general? personally my diet is terrible at the moment due to a terrible sleeping pattern. It really affects when I'm hungry and when I'm not.

when you start your classes or lessons, try to get to know a few people as that will help you develop your confidence within the environment. I have a feeling that after the incident you have lost confidence which I think is important you should try and get back as you used to be more sociable.

about gym, I would advise maybe buying some equipment so you can start at home? a bench with a barbell+dumbbell set with a treadmill may be a good start. Let me know whether you're looking to do weight training or just cardio, I can help you with routines and stuff. Mixture of both is always ideal.

hope I helped.

 

The hardest thing to do is break out of the habits you've formed, but once you do and fill them with things that make you feel successful you'll have a much better feeling about yourself and your accomplisments.

Just work hard and dont forget about what you want in life.
I suggest looking up and making a vision board for a situation like this.

 

It's a simple answer but a hard fix.

The answer is to find a hobby you enjoy and express/share it with others. You could find a club or just random people that enjoys what you do and talk about things. Hobby can consist of basically everything, you could start working out, fix computers, draw, read and so much much more.

How to fix it is hard, everything you start on will always be hard until you get a steady ground on it but after you get your feet walking, you will keep on going and soon you'll be running. GL on your situation, suicide is bad answer as it's a easy answer but a easy fix which but it just shows how weak you are. It is selfish and stupid so don't do it.