Girl problems (as if you haven't seen enough of these)

Hi

I've been lurking here for ages. I read and I read and I read. But I never thought I'd ever post something here myself. But I'm desperate, and I can't get any sleep anyway... So here goes nothing. Thanks in advance.

My best friend had been dating a girl for two years. I dated a few girls as well, however never that long, usually a few months, 8 months being the longest.

I never really felt like any of these relationships made me happy. Usually I just fell for a girl's appearance, became blind for her flaws, so the relationship would lead to nothing but frustration. My best friend, on the other hand, had the perfect relationship. He called me 3 weeks ago, he told me it just didn't feel the way it used to and that he was about to break up with his girlfriend. I felt bad for both of them, it had been a relationship I could only dream of. They didn't fight a single time (no major things at least). I knew her well. We were friends, we would only see each other at parties and such, and have an occasional facebook conversation but that was about it. It all changed after the break up.

My friend was 6000 miles away when he broke up with her. It couldn't wait, because he wasn't about to get back, and she felt something was wrong. She forced him to tell her the truth, so he broke up over the phone.

He contacted me, and asked if I could talk to her, because she seemingly didn't want to talk to him. (ignored his text messages and calls)
I sent her a message and we talked. Later that night we called. 3 days later she came over to my house. We talked, and talked and talked. She seemed to handle it pretty well, she told me she more or less saw it coming so the worst part was behind her.

But I feel she still thinks about him a lot, and even though she's laughing and smiling a lot I think she absolutely didn't let him go.

And yeah, you probably feel it coming, I can't get her out of my mind. I think about her all day, even though I try not to. And I'm so desperate. I overthink everything. When she starts a conversation my heart jumps. When she doesn't text me all day I am lost, and all I do is walk in circles checking my phone. I don't like starting a conversation, I want to be sure she wants to talk to me. She's to nice to ignore my texts, so only when she sends me a message I know for sure she wants to talk.

And it can't go on. Her school is starting, mine isn't for another month. She won't have a lot of time, I know where it's heading, she will go on and probably without me. And I'm stuck. What should I do? Declare my love for her? She is 3 weeks out of a relationship with my best friend. I don't want to cause any extra trouble. I'm not ashamed, I just don't think it's fair for her. She was hurt enough because of the break up.

I don't know what to do now. All I do is over-analyzing stupid facebook conversations and stuff like that. I am seeing her once more. I'll go to her home one time. And I should probably say it then, or it will follow me for months. Or longer. But Jesus, I can't imagine me saying it. Not sober, at least.

Help me, please. I have no more answers.

 

Forget about her. You're going to have to find one of the other 3,550,000,000 girls out there.

Good luck.

 

/thread

Don't stress about a hoe, man.

If a girl can't devote herself to you, 100%, that's not a girl you need to be spending your time with. Trying to get over her will be hard but i can guarentee - you aren't the first person to be fucked over by a girl and certainly not the last.

You'll find someone better, give it time.

 

So just because she has dated a friend of mine, it can never be?

 

No, you could date her if you wanted to.

Pockets and my advice is directed towards -

 

Yeah, if you're pretty sure she isn't over him, neither of you really stand to gain anything from you bringing up your feelings for her.

But I don't think that means you should just drop it - I think you should keep hanging out with her and all, and if things seem to be headed toward a relationship quickly enough, I say go for it. If you won't see her later anyway, you don't have much to lose by trying.

 

Sadly, I have to agree with everyone else. Move on, give her time. I wouldn't start a relationship with someone when they can't dedicate them self in full to you. It'll be a constant burden on your relationship. And in all fairness I doubt your friend would really approve? Bro's before hoes lol

Hope this helped. I'm sure its not the answer you're looking for though.

 

Just move on, life is life sometimes you have to accept the fact's and the problems you have with this girl. But yeah man just move on bro and how Pockets said their's more girls out there somewhere that would make you feel better and yourself better.

 

Hey man, I feel you as I have experienced a similar problem!

Many guys here are just telling you like "Forget her, stop thinking about her" yet its not as easy as it sounds guys.

I have been in love with my very close friend's ex, and we even had something - Its something I regret nowadays, I will try to explain so you can understand why.

You should see it this way: Your friend, which I can tell is a very close one (as he even called you to ask for your advice/help with relationship) trusted you to text the girl. You cant just go ahead and stab him in the back, of course he broke up with her, but its very hard to just forget her. They might've gone through bad moments, but also through lovely ones! And there you are, putting yourself in the middle of the relationship. Its the mistake I did. He is your friend man, he will be there for you as you have been there for him.

Let me tell you that I though I could never forget her, but I actually came to meet some great and awesome girls through my past-time, even though they didnt even compare to her! But they were still so happy and lovely that made me go through days without thinking of 'her'. Give it some time, dont interfere in the relationship because maybe you might end up with her, but if your friend appears in-front of her someday she will go back to him and you will end up getting very hurt.

This is my advice and I really hope it helps you

 

Let me give you some advice. It's obvious to me you don't want to move on, and I suppose that's reasonable given the fact that you envied her perfect relationship with your friend. My advice is to just declare your love for her. I hate to use the basic element of the phrase, "YOLO" but essentially that's what I'm doing. If her school starts soon and your school does not for some time, you should probably do it sooner rather than later. Usually mutual attraction is a small window of opportunity. Might be wise though to let your friend know that you have plans on asking her than not telling him. It'll save a lot of trouble in the future, trust me my friend. Besides, what all do you have to lose?
If it doesn't work it out, it doesn't and you just carry on with life and find another girl. Hopefully it'll all work out for you mate. Feel free to PM me if you want

Good luck!!