Losing my best-friend mentally to drugs:

Alright, so I'll try my best to explain myself. This girl whom I've known for easily under 6 months has quickly became one of the greatest people I've even known. She's a great friend and we've always been there for each other when we're down, or just need a little bit of help.
She's struggled with drugs her whole life due to the fact that's sort of the environment she grew up in. Luckily for her, she got clean at age 13 and it has been 3 years since she's ever done drugs. In the past she's done cocaine twice, lots of marijuana, codeine, and some pills (not sure on the specifics that much). I've always been an advocate of second chances and when I met her she was completely clean and had her life together. Unless we had some deep discussions about our pasts, I would've never assumed she did drugs because of how smart and optimistic she was.
Recently with her break up with her girlfriend of 2 years she's been feeling lonely and completely in the dark. I reached out to her almost every day to make sure she was okay and wouldn't revert back to drugs to cover her problems.
She eventually started using ridiculous amounts of marijuana a day and getting drunk a lot. I started trying to help her more and begging her to stop. She turned into a completely different. She's been pushing me away and doing more and more substances. She's purposely ignoring my texts and I can't do anything to help her. Please, does anyone have any advice to help me save her before she starts doing more?

 

Honestly, the best thing to do for her is to call a helpline or an emergency service. It may hurt your friendship but it will save her life and if you're truly her friend her life will mean more to you than her friendship. It mat sound harsh but still it may be your only course of action.

 

Believe me, I already tried calling 3 helplines and they always give the same generic, "she has to come to us for help in order to be helped."
It sucks.

 

Best advice I get tell you is for you to help her get professional help. My brother is addicted to perkisets and he started to steal from us and it got really bad. He's now in rehab and making some really good strides. Rehab is a place where you have others just like you there to help. Pm me if you want to talk. I'm always here to help if you need.

 

Is there a way you can stage an intervention for her?

 

I've had so many friends rip me to shreds when they break down. In the past two years alone I've helped 4 friends get over suicidal thoughts. The amount of stress I get from worrying and everything is a toll I often don't want to take. What I'm getting at, is that there's only so much you can do and you end up getting burned by the end of the stick if you try to help any further. If you've tried everything then let go of her. You can only help her so much. But she needs to help herself at some point.

 

Constantly trying to pressure them get off drugs and drinks is not going to help them at all. I am not surprised they are pushing you away.

If you are a true friend, be their for them, talk about other things and keep an eye out. Eventually they will ASK for help, they will grow out of it or you can broach the subject in a nicer way. I think you are going about this the wrong way.

I am talking about this from a personal perspective. I was doing a large amount of substances and drinking an excessive amount. My parents and family tried to force me to get help, which led to us falling out. My best friend stuck by my side through-out, even thought he did not approve of everything. I then met someone who didn't judge me for my choice of life-style and guess what? I moved on from drugs and got my life back on track.

 

You may not like it, but if it's the only way - Call the Police.

They'll raid her, take her drugs and get her the help she needs, all be it she might end up with a fine or worse, depending on the amount of dope she's holding.

A truely horrible situation, but it could be for the best.

 

Don't call the police on her that's the complete wrong thing to do. Just call a helpline like others have suggested the more you tell her to stop the more she's just going to carry on and do it more and more, let her find her own way she will realise it sooner or later. Good luck man

 

The only way to get her professional help is if she wants help.

The only other option would be to force her to go cold turkey.

 

What the hell is wrong with you? That's the worst thing you could ever do. First off, the police aren't going to raid her just because some random person said she might have drugs on her. And what kind of help do you think the police are going to give her? Jail time, fines, probation, community service? All that is going to do is make her life harder and make her want to use drugs even more. It's also going to cost her a ton of money by the time she gets everything settled. Potentially ruining someone's life is not my idea of help. Use your head.

It sounds to me like you're seriously overreacting. She smokes weed, drinks, and has taken pills a few times. That doesn't mean she is a full blown drug addict. I was an addict for 10 years and trust me when I say that there is really nothing you can do other than be there for her and support her. That doesn't mean to keep berating her about her drug use and trying to force rehab on her. That's only going to make things worse and is probably why she's pushing you away. Let her know that you will be there no matter what whether she gets clean or not. She has to want to get help. It doesn't matter if she goes to jail or rehab for a few months either. She's just going to keep using once she gets out unless she seriously wants to quit. It seems that she's just unhappy right now. Maybe she will get over it soon and not feel like she has to use drugs to feel good. Just wait this out some. Treat her like you normally would and stop pressuring her. I'm not surprised she's ignoring you. What do you expect? She probably thinks you'll only be her friend if she stops using drugs, which would piss anyone off. You're only making her more unhappy by pushing her so much. Just give it a rest. Do what you can to cheer her up and go do some fun things with her.

 

I would honestly say that this sounds about normal for a girl. This seems to be her way to cope with the pain. Yes it may be slightly destructive, but it seems this could be the way she vents her frustration. My best suggestion for you is to just be there for her. Don't consistently bug or pester her about this. Usually that will just exacerbate the problem and cause her to potentially hate you. Offer your support and ask her if she would like to spend some time with you to get her mind off of things.

I agree with the other posters here. The only way she can get help is if she herself wants it. From what you have told us, she seems to have an addictive personality. Perhaps suggest some other alternatives to her current way of being. Even if she doesn't acknowledge it, she will appreciate the gesture in the long run.

I am only stating this from a girl point of view as I have never dealt with an addict of this nature before. I wish you and her the best of luck! I hope that she comes back to her sense soon after this slight bump in the road.

Slightly of topic:
When I am angry, my husband understands that I need some space. If I am upset, I don't want people around me as it just makes me feel even more ashamed for being upset. I just like to be alone with a pint of ice cream. Yes, its not as bad as drugs and alcohol. But that is what I use as a coping mechanism.

 

She's just young and reckless, leave her alone to do what she needs to do. People like this can't begin to change until they realize they need to by themselves which usually happens after some tragic event or they get into trouble. Getting high isn't too serious, she's just smoking weed and everyone does that, it's not like she's into hard drugs or sharing needles.

Everything you say she's doing, constantly costs money and it's a pretty expensive habit for someone her age to keep up with so I'm if she's acting stupid she'll eventually lose her job. She's just living her life, let her make her own mistakes and she'll build from them. Until she's living on the streets and selling her body for crack money, don't worry about her. She's just a girl you met six months ago, this isn't your relative nor a child hood friend so don't get so emotional. She'll come around soon and you guys will be friends but don't become that one friend who constantly is needy and wants attention cause she'll probably just start ignoring you and it'll break your friendship.

 

i would go visit her in person and just talk to her regularly, and become good friends, go chill together and some way help her get better and let her know that drugs is not the answer


in-person interaction is best, not sms