cant handle the stress, sick and lonely

I cant handle living anymore and everything has all become too much. Nobody calls me anymore. Nobody ever messaged me like they said they would. I have to work, take online courses, make dinner, take the dogs out, wake my dad up for work, clean the whole house, babysit, and visit my sick mom in the hospital.

My dad doesnt do any work around the house and is completely depressed. I have to literally drag him out of the bed for work out of the morning. If i dont do any of my chores, I don't eat. im only 19 and can't afford to live on my own. My dad is completely homophobic. He hates me and never speaks to me.

Everyone I knew from school makes fun of me on facebook for being transgender. I dont know what to do and i cant handle it anymore. can anyone give me any advice.

 

Hey Zlacks, how its going?

Let me tell you that I know a person who's around your age too and experienced a similar issue. I will try to help you being totally honest, and what I consider that could help: First of all, you shouldn't care of what the rest of the people says, unless they are important to you, if they are not, then dont even waste. (the less you care the happier you will be - Regarding the facebook stuff)

Its a shame that your dad is homophobic, he should be the first person to be there when you need help or advice. What I could suggest is to speak more often with him (you might think he hates you or something like so you never talk to him; well my advice is to go ahead and try to speak with him)

I am 19 years old too, I will tell you my current point of view regarding life/work right now: Focus on your studies, as that will pay off in a few years when you get the deegree, that will also help your dad economics situation (long-term). I know its hard to focus on studies with all the other chores around, but hard work pays off sooner or later.

I dont understand why would people makes fun of gay/trasgender people, in my opinion they're stupid and just insecure of themselves.

Hope this helps, if you want my facebook or something I will gladly give it to you so we can speak when you need help!

 

Do you have any family that you can call? Any friends? Anybody at all that will let you stay with them? Think. Think hard. ANYBODY at all. If there is contact them. If they have a heart at all they'll let you stay with them. Even if they're 1000 miles away ask. You can probably save up for a plane ticket. If you're able to stay elsewhere get a job at a local supermarket and take your school classes online. I'm sorry, but this is the best advice i can give you. I hope the best for you and I'm always here if you need to talk!

 

Your in transition.
Most people face this when leaving high school which by the way sucks ass anyway you put it.
Everyone judges everyone and kids can be so cruel.
This is just a moment Zlacks, life gets easier, it really does your just going through a moment which seems like it'll drag on forever.

I went through some personal depression stuff and contemplated suicide pretty hard back in highschool but i came out stronger. Just listen to a lot of music and try to push forward cause it will get easier.

If it makes it any better, you're not the only one going through this. There are thousands of kids going through the same issues. My spiritual advisor is gay and he has a brother which is a pastor and does not speak to him. He is happily married with another man and they are living in peace, they were both rejected by their families.

Families aren't this big unit everyone makes them out to be. Read the news, we are reading about kids killing parents, parents killing kids, its gross.

Families are just there to help you with that initial push, just find someone that loves you for who you are. Seriously, life gets easier.

 

I have the utmost respect for you and your situation. It takes a lot of courage to stand up to stereotypes and general ignorance. While your dad may not agree with your choices, I'm sure it's just a shock as it would be for most parents. I'm sure he still loves you unconditionally, and he'll get used to the fact. It sounds to me like your dad definitely needs to see someone, be it a doctor or a therapist. Sometimes having therapy or having something to take to reduce the depression can do the world of good.

If you ever need to talk to someone, my Skype's on my profile and you can PM me on here any time.

I wish you the best of luck with the rest of your journey and I hope that you wind up happy as I'm sure you will

 

Hey man, glad ou reached out.. Having a talk to someone is a good step forward - being it over the Internet you will get some good advice, especially here t the, we are relatively aware and diverse people.

With regards to your problem your having, I too, as roary stated, have the utmost respect for how you're coping and reacting to the situation. Everything you're doing now, is only going to help you become someone better in te future - think of it like a learning curve, you're independent at 19 years old, not many 19 year olds can say that. Cherish the good moments, your father does love you, he will come around.

He is trying to adapt to the situations all at once, with your mother being sick, him being homophobic etc.. Maybe for your fathers sake, Nd I'm not saying change yourself to better suit someone else, you could lay off the transgender stuff, and try and spend quality time with your father, talk with him, have a beer make him laugh. And when you become closer, express your emotional feelings with one another..

I hope I've helped man.

 

Message me your number and ill talk to you whenever and im not just saying that to make you think that I feel sorry for you but because ive been down a rough road.

Being bullied terribly, switched 3 schools, grew up with ITP and went to cancer camps for 10 years, being made fun of because im not rich, being called gay/pussy and more than that

But what am I doing now?
I am 5 days sober off painkillers and going to college right now trying to major in Microbiology at UCLA and then off to Medical School in San Francisco.

They feel they get a reaction out of you and wants something to spark a conversation and thats how they will always be.

You could just act like it doesnt matter but honestly, those people will never be your friends.

The best thing is to just find a new environment. I went through this 3 times in order to find a place where I KIND OF fit in but still had to pretend. One good friend of mine has no legs but once he got to college, he has more friends than I ever had.

Just saying.

 

Slap your dad around a bit with your feelings he needs to know what's going on up there in your mind. A lot of kids are bullies just tell them to shut up and get over it because you'll probably not even remember their names in a few years or their existence for that matter. You have to realize that not everyone is going to be so accepting towards you and being so different and unique is just asking for trouble but hey it's your life and you shall live it the way you feel is right. You'll be okay, people can't murder you with their words, only your reactions will hurt you. Soon as you realize that none of those son of a bitches matter and their opinions about you are empty and meaningless the faster you'll get better and live a happier life.

Chores and responsibilities are a everyday occurrence for a lot of people so don't feel left out like you're the only one going through any of this because trust me you're not. Your dad is probably going through a lot of emotions right now I mean in his eyes, his only son is a "faggot" and his wife is in the hospital? How'd you feel if your only child turned out to be everything you hated? Give him some time, like I said not everyone is going to be so accepting, not even your own parents. I also apologize for using the word faggot but trust me it's highly likely how your dad sees you because he's probably so uneducated with trans people and like you said he's a homophobic.

You'll be okay, your dad will come around and accept you but it'll take time. As for bullies there's nothing you can do anymore about them considering you're nineteen and the bullying isn't being taken place at a work place or a school. If you were being bullied at a work place though let your supervisor know. You'll make new friends, try looking in the LGBT community in your city? Maybe your town or wherever you live has a online forum for LGBT people to chat and meet new people?

 

If you need anyone to talk to add me on Skype. Just remember the problem is temporary.

 

Just remember you only have one life you need to live it for yourself and make yourself happy.

 

I've pm'd you.

A problem shared is a problem halved

 

Honestly, you should have thought of the consequences before you permanently destroyed your body. As far as your father's situation goes, try and see how things are from his perspective. There's a difference between being homophobic and disappointed in your son. You shouldn't take online courses because they limit your ability to meet people; maybe enroll in some real classes to make some friends. Also, get a job. You'll meet people like that also. You can't expect people to come to you; especially with your situation. Good luck and such.

I'm genuinely curious, did you consider any of the consequences before becoming transgender?

 

I would appreciate if the OP could update us on the situation