Step dad stole my college fund and is most likely gay

First off here is a little about myself. I am 18 and have bought my own car, get no assistance from my parents financially, work nearly every day after school, and pay for my own car insurance, gas, and repairs.

My mom divorced my biological father when I was about 3 years old. My father is a college professor and makes good money, and ever since the divorce my father has been paying alot in child support every 2 weeks. Mom was an art teacher at the time and as highschool teachers go they dont make much money.
Skipping ahead a bit when I was 8 my mother remaried a principle of a nearby school and decided to work there. When I was about 13 or so they decided to start saving up my child support to pay for college.

They day after I turned 18 my mother found my step dads collection of porn, sex dolls, hand cuffs, condoms, lube, etc. About a month after finding these items my mom told my step dad to leave the house untell she decided he could come back. My mother has confided in me saying how they never used lube or condoms because my step dad had a vasectomy over 5 years ago thus resulting in no need for the condoms. I am not usually one to judge but this is just fucked up. Its one thing to have these toys when you are single living alone. If you dont know what a vasectomy is, it is when you surgically cut and seal the tubes that emit your sperm. This completely eliminated the need for condoms because he cant get anyone pregnent. This led me to think that he was gay and used the condoms to prevent a mess either from going into him or someone else.

My birth day was a little over 3 months ago, now back to child support! The account containing my college fund has been under my step dads controll ever since it was opened and he had never shown either my mom or me the amount inside of it. I have been asking alot of questions about the amount inside of the account since I have been getting closer and closer to college. Now that my senior year of highschool is less than a month from being over my mom has gotten access to the joint bank accounts. She is rubbish with numbers so I took a look at my college fund and have found that there is very little left of what it should be.

Heres the math,
Child support received per year - $9,600
Years they have been saving it - 5
Totaling - $48,000

I understand how maybe 1/3 of this money would go to pay for bills and food but no more than that.

The house and both of there cars have been paid off for the past 4 years ever since my grandma from my moms side died and my moms inheritance from her paid for all of them.

According to the bank records my step dad has been funneling money out of my college fund to pay for his sex dolls and toys for years, those alone equaled over $10,000 and the day his stash of secret porn shit was discovered he tranfered over $8,000 after talking to my mom about an $8,000 used car to an account that my mom doesnt have access to.

Today I barley have $14,000 in the account, and all of the money has been tranfered to an account that only my mom can access. I have been planning on attending a 2 year college and then tranfering over to a 4 year if I felt the need. and now I dont even have enough to finish those 2 years at a community college.

Sorry about the life story, but I just dont feel like telling anyone that knows my family and facing there judgment. Just had to get this off of my chest.

 

I understand your pain of losing college money. My mother decided to take it upon herself to drain my entire savings 2 years ago. Where the money went, it has yet to be shown. There really isn't too much you can do when it comes to this stuff. I suppose you could try to file some sort of lawsuit against him, but since the account was under his possession I don't know if you'd get anywhere. Would it be possible to get any help from your biological father?

I don't know if you're religious or not, if you are think of it this way. He'll have to deal with the idea he took your money for the rest of his life, even if he does or not pay you back. (If you're not religious, skip this parts) He would have to stand before God knowing he had broken a very important commandment.
Sorry I can't be as much as help as I'd like to be. If I can help in someway, lemme know of course.

 

Hey there,

You have the potential for a law suit here. I just spoke to my brother (1st in Law, graduate and now Lawyer), and he said if they money was taken from an account opened by two parties (him and your mum) then removing a large proportion of funds without consent of both people can be against the law.

Currently I don't know the specific circumstances you are in and I suggest you research it deeply as you may have a strong case here to get your money back and compensation.

On a side note, this isn't a place for people to moan about their lives, it's a place for people to find support for the situations they are in, so don't feel bad about it! If you want to chat or want my brother to do some deeper research into whether you have a case I can speak with him. Just let me know.

P.S. You're standing on your own two feet in life, many people have it much easier. Everything that is going on in your life will only make you stronger. Look back and be proud of what you have achieved, with little to no support.

 

Thanks for the information. We have contacted a lawyer and will have someone looking at all withdraws from the college fund account within the next month.

 

Good work. My advice is to seek legal advice. It seems as though he has taken your money under the assumption that you wouldn't act upon your loss. You

 

My advice is if you really want education, try looking into Europe, prices are cheaper here, you might even find some ways to go to a university for free as well. I'm not really sure how EU treats US, but while I'm a EU citizen, I can go to Denmark and get free education there, go to Scotland - get the same.

So do some research and that $48k might as well be enough for your education here.

World's a big place. Hope that helps.

 

I am pretty sure that if I am not a citizen they wont cut me any sort of a break financially.

 

I would contact a lawyer and attempt to get him to have to put the money back into the account. Only issue is he seems to not be financially stable otherwise he probably wouldn't have taken it in the first place.

 

Him being gay is irrelevant but definitely contact a lawyer if he stole from you.

 

Glad to hear I could be of some sort of use. Once again if you have any questions or you're not sure which step to take next, I will get in touch with my brother and you can speak to him if you would like.

The bit about him being gay is relevant. As this is a personal support section it can have a huge emotional toll finding something like this out about someone who is meant to be your father figure, it would knock just about anyone, it's not like its something you would ever expect.

 

Tbh you can't really be THAT mad about this. At least you have some money left, some people have it way worse than you have it. When I was growing up, I wasn't lucky enough to be wealthy and all of the child support my dad paid went towards actual bills, not into a college fund.

 

get a laywer. damn i feel for you bro honestly i do, that's just fucked up can't imagine what you going through stray strong. You seem very independent so you can pull through this, also be with your mom you never know how shes hurting right now

 

My dad is a drunk and beat the shit out of me until last year daily, but this isnt about us, it's about him. He came here for someone to help him, not tell him to grow the fuck up. Seriously, that mad? I would be ballistic about that.

I know how you feel, issues with my dad, child support was fought over for years, then started coming in such little amounts that it could have been saved for years and totaled like 1k. Luckily my step-dad is pretty wealthy, but Im looking at around 100k in bills for my 4 year at a good school. I would definitely suggest legal action because that is stealing from you, especially if that money was put into the account with the intent to be for college and he lied about where it was going to your mom. It was HER child support, even if it was in his bank account, doesnt mean it was his. Marriage entails access to each-others assets, meaning she would be joint owning the money unless she signed away her rights. Basically, you will more than likely be able to have legal recourse here

 

I am in no way saying that I am worse off than everyone else, but you need to understand. My mom is unable to work and suffers from fibromyalgia (widespread muscle and joint pain and fatigue as well as other symptoms and can lead to depression and social isolation.), a few other deceases that I cant pronounce, and suffers from chronic migraines that require her to go to the emergency room. My mom raised me from the ages of 2-8 by herself on a part time art teachers salary in Nebraska, It doesn't get much worse than that. At this time my biological father was refusing to pay child support and we had to rely on kids connection (a government funded kid health care option for parents that couldn't afford it) and food stamps. One of the reasons the child support received for these last few years was so high is because It was never received when I was younger, So the courts decided to take it out of his paycheck automatically and it was practically doubled because it was never paid during the first half of my life.

Now that my step dad has been kicked out all of the food and house bills are being paid with my moms social security check (her only form of income) which is about $10,000 a year, and this is not enough to cover all of the expenses so my college fund is paying for everything that she can't.

So, I am really sorry that I am so much more wealthy than you and that your life was so hard.

Thanks man, my step dad lawyered up nearly the same day he moved out and my mom is just going to meet with a lawyer in the next few days but has been talking to her over email about everything that has happened.

 

Man that's a fucked up situation , I feel sorry for you but it would be the best for your mom to divorce from your step dad aswell are tyhey married?