Negative things about my girlfriend..Opinions? And can you relate?

Hello all,
I've been dating my girlfriend for 5 months, since today (the 16th)..
I love her so much, and she's literately my first REAL relationship out of the 50 others I had..

However, there's a few things that annoys me..and I'm not sure why.

1. Talking to her on the phone is kinda annoying, I don't know why..I hate it, and I get 'pissy' I guess.. We don't even really talk about anything, but it's nice to hear her really cute sweet voice. But overall, I hate it..I just get bored, and I rather be doing something else..but she always says 'Is something wrong..' .. 'Are you sure..?' etc.. I feel like I need some space when I'm on the phone..and It gets annoying because she asks it every 10 minutes.

2. She always whines about stuff, and it bothers me. She whines and complains about every little thing, and it just gets annoying because most of our conversations has her complaining or whining about something. It gets ridiculous sometimes..

3. She constantly asks me If I still like my ex-girlfriend..which I don't, because she cheated on me with 3 guys..having sex with all of them within a week we were dating.. Obviously I don't like my Ex.. I don't talk to my ex's, or think about them either..They're disgusting and trash.

4. She says negative things about her. This one bothers me a lot, because she thinks her legs are too skinny, because people say that. But she has a perfect body, and she is really beautiful. She always tells me "I hate my body.", "I'm Ugly.." and I always tell her that shes not, and she's beautiful..and I love the way she is..Than she says those negative things later, and I guess she just doesn't believe me?

5. She gets really immature, specially when shes with/near friends..This one bothers me a lot..She's just a year younger than me. I'm a really classy guy..I dress classy, I don't do drugs, and I'm really mature. However, she does these screching noises, and talks like a little kid sometimes...and she sometimes screams like "NO" when I'm joking..in public and I sometimes feel embarrassed about it, because it looks like my girlfriend is pyscho, or I look like a bad boyfriend.

6. She's expensive. I know a lot of people, not only me have this problem. But we've been dating since September...and her birthday is in the last week of October, than Christmas comes, and than Valentines Day comes..Between that, she constantly wants to go to the movies to watch these romance movies, which I dislike..but still. I'm not cheap at all..I spent a lot of money on her Birthday, than I bought her a $100 Juicy Couture Necklace for Christmas, than I bought her $50 Flowers and $25 Worth of chocolate for Valentines day. All these events are linked together, and It's expensive. I can never really save for anything that I want, plus my parents don't support me of anything I own..so I have to pay everything for myself..Which is fine, because I hate spoiled brats who get everything handed to them.

7. Her texting is sloppy and misspells. I'm used to good grammar and such, like this. However her typing is like "Aww i love youu" or "omfg this movie is soo sad come over and watch it with me" ... I just hate that, I don't know why. I think it's more 'attractive' when a girl can spell, specially during texting..Not sure why, that's kinda weird.

8. She tries to copy her friends, and what they do with their boyfriends. I know this is a common thing girls do, but..if her friend goes on a date at a Diner, than my girlfriend wants to do that. If her friend does this, she wants us to do that. I think it's annoying, because she just wants to do that because her friends do.

9. When I tell her stuff, she acts like she doesn't care. If I tell her I had a bad day at work, she'll just say "Ooo, I'm sorry." or.. "My parents are fighting" ... She'll say "That suckkks" ... etc. She never wants to talk about anything, even though if something happens to her..We always talk about it.


That's about it, mm. What's your opinion? Can you relate? I'm not gonna break up with her or anything..Just want some opinions or if you can relate.

 

I think you and I are in a similar boat. You need to ask yourself something though. With all of the things that drive you nuts - lack of grammar, immaturity, and insecurities... You say you still love her.

Now, the question is: Do you love her like you would marry her if you had the opportunity or does it feel more like a puppy love? Or it is closer to a sexual attractiveness to her?

The fact that she acts like she doesn't care should be a small indicator of what kind of person she is. Your relationship seems to revolve more around her than around BOTH of you... Relationships are about you both (as a couple). If you don't share everything and have fun together that's a problem.

While girlfriends can be expensive, you are pushing it a little too much too quickly... Unless you can keep up the fundings for her "lifestyle", you might have to cut back a lot. I find it weird that you say that you hate spoiled-brats who have everything handed to them, yet you are handing your girlfriend everything she wants. Has she even offered to pay for anything yet?

PS. If you think you're being cruel by cutting off funds, etc... I used a tin of Popcorn that my parents got for V-Day as a re-gift for my GF. I don't even remember what I got her for her birthday and xMas... Pretty much food/regifted items/etc. because I am pretty much broke and I recognize it.

 

This was the answer I was looking for, and this is awesome that you're in a similar situation. You made me think a lot more about this, and it's true.
We're actually a very strong couple, and we do have fun together. I'm don't wanna say that 'I love her' enough to marry her, because I'm still young.. You're very true, I am pushing it a little too fast.. I can keep up with the funds, but I don't want too. And no, she hasn't offered to pay for anything, so you have a big point. I'm gonna change, and this really helped..
Also, that's a good idea..but I think giving love is better than giving gifts. I look like a hypocrite saying that but, yeah. I understand you man!

 

2, 3 and 4 are definitely true with most girls, and with my ex girlfriend. Girls like to be complimented all the time, because there's a lot of "pressure" on them to be perfect because they read all these stupid magazines and what not. That's something you'll most likely have to put up with no matter who you're dating.
Asking about your ex is pretty normal too. Most girls are very posessive in nature, not in a bad way, and they just like to know they're not second best.
The whining is true for a lot of girls, but not as much as you seem to say your girlfriend does.

Overall, it sounds like you're unhappy and the relationship is one sided. You should probably approach her and tell her you want to talk about your problems and that you're not happy. Tell her you're saving up for something and as a passing comment tell her you wont be spending as much, like " I'm saving up for X, it's really important I have it so I'll need to watch what I'm spending for a while."
You'll just have to find a way to put the bad traits behind you, everyone has some, and focus on the good things.

 

Thanks for this. This made me think about it more, and thats so true!
But, I'm not unhappy, I just have things i dislike about her, which is okay! And I'll try telling her that, but I'm not too sure what I wanna do right now, because I work a seasonal job, right now..I only work in Spring, Summer and Fall. Thanks so much for posting!

 

Guess I'll comment on each of these since they sound familiar to relationships I've had. Dunno if I'll be much use, but hey I can relate.

I know how you feel. I don't like talking on the phone. I like at least being able to see her face if we're talking with voice. If you're the same way, try to Skype(I don't really like it, but at least it's better). Otherwise you'll have to put up with her wanting to talk on the phone or feel her wrath when you tell her you don't like it.

I wish I could relate to this one. One of my ex's used to go to other guys to complain. It got under my skin.

See my response to the next one.

She sounds insecure. I hate to say it, but these are things I've done before honestly. She probably gets some comfort from you telling her how beautiful she is and that she isn't ugly, and needs to hear it again later. Talking to her about insecurity might help, or it could be a dangerous conversation - you obviously know her better than all of us.

I don't know how old you are so I can't really comment, but I sorta know the feeling?

I think dating in general is expensive. This isn't exclusive to her at all. Unless all my exes have just been really high maintenance..

Pisses me off too. Not much you can do about that one.

Not much you can do about that either.. guess she just wants to feel as loved as her friends.

I've broken up with girls over this. I don't spend hours of my time calming down girlfriends and comforting them for them to say "oh I'm sorry" whenever I have a legitimate problem. Get back what you put into relationships. This is the most worrying one on your list honestly.

EDIT: Based on this, you can ignore the rest, but it's there for reference.

I don't want to say this, and I'm definitely not the relationship guru so don't take my advice too seriously, but it honestly sounds like you're dating my last ex. Just based on the insecurity, cost, immaturity, and seeming lack of caring about you, I would tell you to break up with her. Now obviously, if you're happy with her just keep things how they are, maybe talk to her about some of the things that bother you.

You told us how much you love her but you haven't mentioned that you're happy in the relationship. Either you left it out, or you're in a horrible place to be. If you love her and you're not happy, please please please do yourself a big favor and get out of it - don't hang around for months expecting things to get better as you're miserable.

 

Hey man,
This means a lot. I've learned a lot, and this has gotten more things going through my head. But, I don't think I'll break up with her anytime soon, if that's the case. I enjoyed this, and thanks so much for replying. I appreciate it!

 

I feel your pain for #9. Whenever I'm talking with a girl, and they have this issue or something, I sit down with them and help them because I hope in return, they'd actually care about what I'm saying if I ever needed help. And then when I need someone to talk to, I get a kind of ridiculous answer like "Sorry" or "That sucks!". And I agree about what you say about texting with correct grammar. I have the similar issue. But eventually we have to just work through it, I did. Despite all the negative stuff, you have to ask yourself how you truly feel about her despite everything.

 

That's a great relation right here! We're in the same boat right now, and this is usually the one that I hate the most.

 

If it bothers you that much, talk to her about it. Communication is critical in relationships. If you stop the world just to hear her simplistic problems or major problems, as for that in return. Just say that to her, and tell her how you feel about it. I can assure you she'll probably appreciate it that you're talking about your feelings.