My life...

This is hard for me to say this, even on here..Ok I'm 19 with no job and a child. Me and the mom have split up and it's hard for me because I want to get over her but our history is very big. I don't want to be with her but I don't want anyone else to have her.Oh and I just found out she has a boyfriend when she had came over last week to celebrate Christmas with me and my son..Anyways my son's birthday is coming up in a few weeks and I only have 12$ in my bank account. I just spent around 100$ on RSGP..I feel like shit right now..My dream job right now is working at H-E-B as a night stocker for 10$ an hour and I have applied three times with no success..I'm addicted to my computer/video games. I love RuneScape because it has literally been with me through the tough and thick of my life. Also I am in the National Guard but the measly 170$ a month doesn't go far (cellphone and whatever my son needs). I have no car and no driver's license and I live with my parents. I just really need some advice/support right now..

 

Get off runescape, forget about your ex-girlfriend and do your best to support for your child. Spending your last bit on RSGP is pathetic when you have a child to provide for. I don't understand why people bring a child into this world when they don't have a sustainable job. May sound blunt but its the truth.

 

Pretty blunt but thanks. And don't get me wrong my son is provided everything he needs such as food, diapers, toys, love, etc. I'm just going to sell my ipad to get him something..But again thank you for your advice.

 

Buddy, your just 1 year older than me and you have a son. You must be feeling stressful at times because being 19 and having to hold a great responsibility of a child can be pretty tough sometimes.

About the girl you've just got to give her up, completely. And by giving her up completely means letting her go free and not being destructive and possessive of her. By letting her go, you aren't just only letting her free, you are actually also giving yourself the key to peace and freedom. Only when you are at peace, will you enjoy and live life.

What your son needs are not presents or money. He needs your care and concern, your love and affection. Kids need to grow up with showers of love and they need to know that someone is always behind their backs. (their fathers)

If Runescape is draining your resources, you have to quit it. It may have gone through the thick and thin with you, but now you have bigger responsibilities to uphold. You had $117 in your bank and spent $100 on Runescape, that is not very wise is it? You spent over 80% of your savings on RSGP when you need the money for the future, for you and your son.

Like you said, you are addicted to video games and realising it is a great start. Many addicts do not realise and fall into denial when confronted with the truth. Since you understand that you are suffering from a video game addiction, take action. Help yourself through this, go cold-turkey. Enlist some self-discipline.

Your life is going some ups and downs right now, like a roller coaster ride. You can try take control of the ride, and although you cannot completely control the entire ride, you can control how you react to it.

Set rules, set goals, set disciplines for yourself to follow. It could be as simple as save $50/week, exercise 3 times a week or spend at least 2 hours with my boy a day. These small goals and disciplines, if followed, will give you a sense of control in your life which is vital.

If you have failed 3 times, then try harder. You can't apply for the same job the same way if you have failed the first time. You aren't getting it if they don't think you are qualified.

Try other jobs in the meantime, it's good to chase what you want. But at this crucial point, take what is available, but that does not mean you stop trying. You can keep trying, keep applying, but you have to prove to them you are the right man for the job.

Your son needs you, he needs a father and a conducive environment to grow up in. Get rid of your bad habits and addictions for your son, and most importantly, for yourself.

Buddy, go go go!!! I want you to come back with a list of goals & disciplines . Perhaps make a blog to follow your progress and keep you motivated. You can try blogspot or wordpress, whatever suits you. You can do it, faith in you man.

 

Can't you just sell the RSGP you have or did you gamble it.

 

Sell your GP and account, quitting RS was one of the best things I have done in regards to certain aspects and things you mentioned. Secondly, your son needs YOU, not a new toy. Spend the time you would spend playing RS with him instead, or applying for other jobs. However I must commend you. You're not in an easy situation and I can only wish I would have had a dad like you growing up.

 

I'm assuming you're on good terms with your parents considering you're living with them. Ask them for a loan of money to buy your son something and pay them back weekly or monthly, a bit at a time. I know you said you're thinking if selling your iPad to provide the money but leaving yourself with nothing, especially in your situation isn't a good idea. I'm sure your parents wouldn't mind helping you out.

Second of all, get off of Runescape. Sell what you have; account, RSGP, everything. I know it's difficult when it's been a big part of your life but there comes a time when you need to move on and be a part of the bigger picture, it was your choice to bring a child in to this world and it's your responsibility to put his needs before yours and be a respectable role model. It'll be tougher for you since you're still young, and your friends are gaming and going out all the time, but it was your choice, and having a son at a young age means manning up and growing up when you make that choice.

Regarding your ex, you'll always love her like you do - she's the mother of your child and not much compares to that. But hanging on to something that's already moving on without you is just going to demotivate you.


Focus on finding a job and providing the best you can for your son as well as giving him a figure to admire.

 

I obviously don't have as much life experience as you(yet i'm 21). But I do want to say that you are going to get through this period of your life. Try to think about what is most important for you right now. Your son and some home/life stability in general would be the most important things right now(i think). Leave runescape out for a bit, runescape will never run away, it'll stay right where it is.
Set yourself some personal goals which you want to achieve. Whether its getting a job, a drivers license or just being around your son, building up a better father/son band, anything.
Every day you work towards that goal is a going to be a succesful day, if one day or maybe even the whole week you get declined for a job, dont let it put you down. Just keep looking ahead to that goal you have set for yourself. Also when thinking of these goals, find something that motivates you to actually work on that goal. I am not a father, but I think that your son would be a great "motivation factor" in all of this. If you want a better life for yourself, look at what you need to get it. If everything gets a little too busy, give yourself some rest aswell. Stress & a lot of worrying make it all harder. Just remember to set yourself some goals. It helped me in the past.

My english might be messed up a bit cus it's late for me but I really feel for you man, may it soon get better for you!

 

Have you thought about going on welfare untill you find a job?
Since you have a kid, you are eligable for an increased earning. Up to 200-300$ more for your child, depending where you live. This would be a great temporary way to support your child untill you find a job. Just please don't get on welfare and be stuck on it. Some people get on it, and never get off.

I know its hard to quit rs esp when your reason for playing it is to keep you sane, but maybe you don't have to quit, but reduce the amount you play. Having a child is very difficult and since I've never had one I cant say i know what you are going through, but it does seem like you have some parental support which is great.

As for the girl, well mate you cant have both. Either you want her or you don't. You say you don't but don't want anyone else to have her either, well thats just being selfish. Sorry for putting it so bluntly but if shes going to be happy with someone else then let her?

 

Why isn't the mom supporting you? If you wanted to play runescape all day then why didn't you let your ex take the baby? Some jobs you just can't get no matter how many times you apply, they could be full on staff or they just don't like the look of you. Also; you need to be proactive with job searching, check the paper every morning for jobs; go to community college, physically print out resumes and hand them into stores rather then applying online. I've applied to 6 places online and NEVER had a reply from any of them, i swear they just don't check it and all the stores use it as a way to stop people coming in every day asking for jobs. Cancel your membership and start thinking about your life. You can't live off $10 , see if your parents can grandparent your son while you get an apprenticeship or learn a trade or something.

 

You don't need to quit something you love , you just need to know what your priorities are at the time. Of course your son will always come first, then your game just keep that in mind. As far as the girl just move on. She moved on, so why don't you? I am pretty sure when you find another girl you will forget about her. Just wait and see!!!

 

Its a good thing that you recognize the things that makes you bad; If you cant find a job, its because you probably arent trying hard to get one. There are a lot of job opportunities if you really have the will to work.

Dont be lazy, and if you know things like RuneScape or video games consumes you time, then stop with them! Atleast till you get your life stable. Its sad to see you got a son while being so young, that probably makes the situation a lot harder. Cant actually believe you spent that money on rsgp while being in this situation.

Just focus on finding a job, it will be hard at the beggining but you just need to have the will.

 

Child Support, have her ass pay for something. If she refuses, tell her she's not allowed to see the child. Along with that, quit the damn game, it's not doing you any good. If you're going to spend $100, atleast spend it on a hobby or something that is more meaningful than a virtual pixelated game.

 

You could always apply for a job through the National Guard in your area since your in the Guard that's what i did. You don't even have to apply for the position that your in the Guard for to get a job with them. Also security jobs like to hire people that have military experience you could always try that. But at your age you would have to apply for an unarmed position.