My Penis... Farts

HI,
Not too sure where to start but I'm a 24 year old male with a VERY humiliating problem (at least to me). My PENIS farts. This is what my latest girlfriend called it. Although she says it's the cutest and sexiest thing she's ever seen, I cant begin to express how embarrassing this is to me.
It can be anything from a soft wet whistling sound to a very loud popping or air escaping quickly sound. Yes, just like regular fart but much higher pitched and can be about 5x as loud. (coming out of a smaller hole, I guess). During a typical hand job my PENIS can fart up to 30 times. My girlfriend seems to love it but I feel like crying. The gentlest squeeze especially at the base can elicit a fart but the worst is when I orgasm.
This is not a health issue as I've been doing this all me life. It doesn't hurt, in fact the vibrations alone can initiate an orgasm. Just humiliating. Most women don't say anything, some laugh but every girl who has witnessed this seems to be mesmerized by it.
I know women like confident men but I just cannot seem to get comfortable with this and I feel it is ruining my life. Girls talk and I feel like the talk of the town. High school was a nightmare.
My question is: Are my the only one. Has anyone else experienced this? I've checked books, done internet searches etc., but can't find anything related to my problem. I don't feel that I can cure the problem but how can I be more comfortable with it.
How would you feel if you met a man who was attractive, kind, sensitive and sincere but PENIS farted?
Sorry if I was being too graphic but I felt like I finally needed a woman's opinion.
Thank you for your help and concern. Best Wishes

 

you are the master of pasta

but do you even lift

 

lol op that is so beta, phaggot

 

lame copy + paste

still a newfag

 

What the fuck? Why is that beta? Tell me motherfaggot




























I'm an Aplha male, BongK.























And girls want to fuck alpha males. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasnos you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?
Yeah, I'm fucking her.
The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly aks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?
Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder.
The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?
Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

And what's more? I laugh at guys like you. When you cry about how much girls treat you bad, and wonder why they can't just see that you're a nice guy who would always treat them right? I nod and tell you to hang in there, you'll find someone right for you someday, don't give up hope man. But inside? I'm laughing my ass off at you you pathetic fuck. Every girl you set your sights on, who isn't a disgusting pig-monster, I'm going to fuck 6 ways from sunday before you even tell her you think she's cute. I won't bother trying when you finally settle for that 350 pound girl who works at hardees, you can have that. Anything else I'm going to cum on her face before you get those lips near it.
And the biggest reason I laugh? It's not me doing all this. It's the girls. When you cry about how lonely you are? Or talk about how you just want to curl up and dissapear, and all that emo bullshit? You're triggering her "Don't Fuck" instinct something feirce. You're a miserable weak coward, why would she want your genes? Feel free to buy her a new computer and help her decorate her apartment, you're great for that. But her baby-maker is barking orders at her, telling her to wrap her legs around me and hold on for as long as she can. She needs it, on a primal level you'll never get to see first hand, even if you do get a chance to fuck her. Sooner or later one of them will lay back and spread their legs, but you won't see any hunger in their eyes. They won't beg you to love them forever and make them yours. You won't know what it's like to see her animal side needing you as much as she needs to eat and breath.

And she's cheating on you, I promise that. When she sits around quiet and uncomfortable, acting irritable and irrational towards you, wanting you to just back away and leave her alone, it's not her period. It's because I haven't called her for a day or two and her instincts are telling her to go find me. The primitive section of her brain doesn't want to risk smelling like another man when she gives herself to me, she wants me to know she's completely mine. We do things together she tells you she never would. Her pooper? Mine. I want to give her a facial? of course. I want her to suck the cum out of my dick, even though I just finished pumping away at her ass? she's never going to tell me no. She doesn't WNAT to tell me no. She wants me to know she'll do anything it takes to keep me. She'll rim my ass while she's down there sucking me off if it means pleasing me. She'll drink my cum from a shotglass. She'll wear a buttplug when we go out to dinner. She'll sleep handcuffed to my headboard. Anything.
And then she'll go home to you and tell you she's not in the mood today.
I'd say you should become an hero, but you being aruond makes her want a real man all the more, so keep fagging it up emo bitches, I'll keep that pussy warm while you're crying in the corner.

 

The thing is, people don't realize the work that goes into properly doing copypasta. They think copypasta is something that slackers can do, or faggots, or assholes. It's not true. Copypasta is a dying artform and if you don't see that, I don't know what's wrong with you.
First of all, you sacrifice spending real time on Sythe. You can't participate as much as you'd like to because you're so busy doing copypasta that you can't. As a result, you miss a lot of really great threads. Still, it's a sacrifice, so you do it.
There's also the problem of ·30 seconds between posts". This message can really hurt your progress. You should try to get your copypasta into every active thread and if you have to sit there waiting before the flood period is over, you lose valuable time. This is also very difficult.
Also, picking which threads should get a copypasta first are sort of difficult. There are threads that don't stay on the first page for very long, so you may be missing some of the more prominent threads. Of course, you should try to hit them all, but for the desire effect, you need to get into bigger threads quickly.
Finally, there's the moral problem. One thing about copypasta is that sometimes it feels good, but sometimes it feels bad.
BTW, this wasn't a copypasta, I just typed it out.

 

bad use of bad luck brian

 

wtf is bad luck ryan? lol kid gtfo my thread lololol internerd newfeg

 

OP is a phaggot

 

blaze, bro, you see that ravioli just 5 posts over you? yea? well that goes for you too. i'm too lazy to gnocci the ravioli i spaghetti'd before.

 

Why capitalize every pasta, but then spit in the face of Italians by not capitalizing 'gnocchi', and also spelling it wrong..
Dumb ass newfagoot.
u virgin noob shit

 

motherdumbassfaggot the "h" in my keyboard isn't working

hater's gonna hate.

 

im a hater and i do hate you

 

Reasons for Trolling
Some people troll others as part of a personal vendetta. This is also known as cyberbullying. The troll might taunt the victim in various online communities, use the victim's e-mail address to sign up for spam e-mails or even impersonate the victim in order to discredit him or her. In extreme cases like the family feud in Washington, the troll might post information online that leads to direct physical consequences.
Other trolls want to promote their own agendas by undermining an online community. The clearest example of this is on a political forum. A troll might use manipulative tricks to sabotage a legitimate discussion or to discourage community members from supporting a specific political figure.
But the trolls that seem to be the most puzzling are those who have no personal agenda or vendetta against anyone. For them, trolling is an end unto itself. The goal is just to frustrate people and to build the troll's reputation as a troublemaker. Or could there be more?
Mattathias Schwartz of The New York Times interviewed several trolls, including the infamous Jason Fortuny. The trolls offered various reasons for trolling beyond just a desire to victimize people online. Some claimed they wanted to teach people a lesson about how harsh the online world can be. In other words, they felt it was for the victims' own good. Others tried to justify their actions by pointing out how rough their own lives had been in the past [source: Schwartz].
The very nature of the Internet might contribute to trollish behavior. The Internet gives people the opportunity to remain anonymous. That means the average user has very little sense of accountability while online. It's easy to forget (or ignore) the fact that on the other end of the connection is a real human being with real feelings.
Trolls sometimes make fun of their own motives. In the Encyclopedia Dramatica, a very popular wiki in troll culture, there's an entry that claims that the American Psychiatric Association will include "Internet troll personality disorder" in the next edition of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders. The entry then goes on to list the "diagnostic criteria" for the disorder -- many of which paint trolls in a positive light.
Elsewhere on the Web is what appears to be a scholarly paper written by an "Amy Dhala" about a supposed focus group study of trolls. But while much of the paper contains language that on the surface appears legitimate, there are entire sections* that drop the scholarly voice completely. It becomes clear by the end of the paper that the entire work is a piece of fiction -- written by a troll.
The very nature of trolls makes them difficult to peg down. When are they being deceptive? Do they believe they are online vigilantes and guardian angels, or are they selfishly exploiting others for their own enjoyment? How many are teenagers or younger? It's impossible to know for sure, though that doesn't stop people from making guesses and generalizations.
In the end, it's probably just best to avoid engaging with trolls altogether. It'll save you a lot of frustration and wasted time. And it annoys the heck out of the trolls.

 

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