Best Friend wants to be Friends with Benefits

So basically, I've known this girl since my Freshman year in Highschool, now a Sophmore in college, and we've hung out I'd say at least once a week as friends. She always has been dating when I was single, and I've always been dating when she was single. However, recently, her boyfriend of a year broke up with her. I decided yesterday that I was going to bring her out to get a bite to eat and just talk it out. However while I was driving, she tricked me into playing "The truth game".

We asked questions about random stuff that we already knew, but then the conversation turned sexual. We talked about different things we have done and who've we done it with, and then she asked me if I'd ever have sex with her. I told her that I value our friendship, and it really wouldn't bother me, but I wouldn't want to make any type of commitments just because she's such a good friend. I asked her the same question and she replied with the same answer.

So after a few more questions, she said we should be Friends with benefits. I didn't know quite what to say and I laughed it off, thinking she was joking. She was not. We've always had mutual sexual tension, and we both agreed that we wouldn't have any strict feelings for eachother, that it would just be for fun.

I've never done something like this, I'm not a virgin, and she isn't as well. I just don't know if any one of you have ever had something like this. Would this affect our friendship? Anyone ever have something like this happen to them?

What do yall think I should do?

Thanks.

-Batter

 

It won't affect your friendship that you might think... it'll strengthen it..

if anything sexual bonds will bring you closer maybe even to relationship status which i'm assuming is what you'd want..

go for it bud.. the sexual tension and relationship will eventually form a real relationship if you both are into each other like you say..

 

Yeah, I would like a stronger friendship, but I'm not 100% about a relationship. She's practically family, I come over to her house all the time and she comes over to mine, parents just think we're good friends.

 

Never had a friend with benefits obviously.

It doesn't work, i'm telling you from personal experience and experiences of my friends, someone in the ordeal eventually wants something more or gets the sense of possession feeling. Once either the boy or girl start talking to someone else they'll notice themselves getting jealous and aggression tensions towards their "friend".

I'm telling you it doesn't work for longer then a month, if you can last that long. If you can see yourself as more then her best friend and possibly having strong feelings for her in the future then try it and see if you can make a relationship come out of it, aside from that, it's a ruined friendship waiting to happen.

 

That^
I don't really have anything to say as I would have said exactly that.
I've personally never had a friend with benefits, just a girl I've met a few times at parties and we've had sex a few times, but we don't hang out or anything..
A few of my friends have though and they never work out.

 

I agree, someone eventually becomes emotionally attached to what you would have and then gets hurt unintentionally by the other and it all spirals out of control. You either have to go all in or be platonic, as its almost impossible to have a FWB relationship that can be maintained at that sort of level for a long period of time.

I personally think she is trying to tell you that she likes you and wants to see you in a full deniability statement. Trick her into playing the truth game next time and try to prod at the question.

 

Speaking from experience, it doesn't work. Mine ended dismally several months ago, and I'm still having trouble getting over it.
Everything the people above (except jacmob, sorry) have said is true, and Annex might actually be right in that she likes you

 

I've came to this type of situation twice with two different girls. I still talk to both of them, and I'm close to the both of them even today. We just never gotten to the point where we let it get in the way of us dating other people nor did it create any negative tension between us. We've never considered being in a relationship. I think it all depends on each other's feelings towards one another. If you find that it'll ruin your relationship with her, then I suggest not doing it. It's all about comfort-ability.

 

Not to be jokey or anything here but if you don't "perform" maybe either you or she will feel embarrassed to be around you, affecting your friendship with her. However, it could also go the other way where you please her and she wants to start dating you or something, if that ends badly, the friendship could again be ruined.

 

There was alot of one sided questions here, but the truth is not everyone is the same.

What almost always happens is one person falls for the other. It can work out but if it did chances are you would end up boyfriend and girlfriend. It can work out without it turning to that, but the chances aren't that good.

but to say it for sure won't work out is a lie...I have had a fwb and it not go bad and they are still one of my best friends.

 

No they do not work out.
Friends-With-Benefits tend to lead to actual relationships (which is a good thing) or a broken friendship.
Watch the movie Friends With Benefits, that'll give you an insight

 

It almost never works out unless you have a best friend who is scared to reveal their feelings, and exceptionally passive. If that is the case then you are still hurting them, they are just not telling you about it so you don't get upset ECT.

 

This can end in either 2 ways:

1. After being friends with benefits, you realize that you love the intimacy and decide to be a couple, get married, etc...

2. One of you decides to date other people, the other person feeling neglected stops being the friend with benefits and eventually lose all contact.

3. Nothing happens and you stya best friends until one of you share your feelings about wanting to become a couple and maybe get married, etc..

Watch the movie: Friends with benefits. Even though its a movie if your smart than you will know what to do.

 

Just go for it, she wants you and is scared of another heartbreak give it time

 

Im sure your done reading this thread but, if not i feel like i could help you out.

- The friendship wont last you have known her for too long. The tension for you guys to catch feelings for eachother will happen... thats the type of girl you easily fall in love with or one of you do.. and the other dosent feel the same. Personal tip hope it helps your out .

 

Look at it this way, you could probably meet and become friends with tons of girls, but how often does a chick just wanna bang with no strings attached? Of course it won't last long and will more than likely ruin the friend but hey, girls are usually extremely shitty friends anyway. That's why girls usually have a ton of guy friends.

 

....no.

 

I can say straight off it wont work, never does. It will most definitely affect your friendship.

 

Had this exact thing happen to me awhile ago... We're now engaged and planning the wedding for next year.

 

Okay here is how you think of it. You consider her a human. She may want to bang you but do you value your friendship? If yes, then avoid it. If no and you can stand to lose her as a friend then have at it.