18 Today-Where do i go from here?

Hello Sythe, im Matt.
Some of you may have seen me around ive been here for a while but i must admit i havent been as active as i would have liked.

Basically today is my 18th birthday...and to be honest these past 2 weeks i have been depressed. i hide it from everybody i know. Worst pain that could happen to me happened yesterday night. I txt my Girlfriend(its been 4 years of being together) saying "sorry i split with you earlier im actually depressed and i need you." her reply was.. "Dont blame it on me" 2 mins later she phones me.. i answer and say hello.. she says sorry im late..where we going to drink.... (she didnt mean to phone me) then i say u phoned the wrong person she says oh i thought it was her friend kristina... tbh kristina doesnt have a deep voice like me.. and yeah i went to kristinas house 10 mins later and she confirmed that they wasnt meeting up... so i found out she had cheeted on me 1 day before im a man,..... i feel broken. i tried to cry last night only 1 tear fell im passed the point of being upset i feel empty inside...

Where shall i go from here... obviously im going Raving on friday... but im in love with this girl and it just hurts, Badly. =| I have a good heart but im finding life a struggle... i have lost a lot of people to death...and jail... i actually have no Real childhood friends remaining.. maybe this is why she means so much to me i thought i could trust her... atleast i now know dont trust a HOE.

(i know this thread will not be read seriously you can laugh by all means it actually wouldnt affect me in the slightest.)

Thankyou for your time if you read this.

 

It sounds like you have a rough crowd/lifestyle. You should try and make a change. Your companions are dying or getting put into jail? I'd suggest trying to go for an OE or visit a far-away relative for a while to get away. It may be hard at the moment, but it will get better with time.

 

That has crossed my mind to go away but the only option is to go to my dad who lives in Ireland and i just dont want to i dont even know him and im still angry for him leaving me i needed a male figure in my life. and tbh in London where i am right now its pretty fucked i need to make it out by my self.. somehow.