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Relationship Problems

Discussion in 'Spam Forum' started by Emperor Nero, Jun 7, 2012.

  1. Emperor Nero

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    So, I'm 20 and my girlfriend's 19, we've been dating for months now. And all of a sudden this guy named Joe comes out of nowhere into my life (he's my new co-worker at my company). Pretty soon I find out he has no money, no place of residence. Basically he moved here for the job and can no longer afford his hotel. So, being the nice guy that I am, I decide to open up to him. I keep him in my apartment for weeks, bro is pretty cool. We play the vidya, drinks beers, watch football, it's good times. This continues for several months.


    Afterwards, I find out my girlfriend is pregnant, so by all tradition, I have to marry her now. One night, I'm eating out at dinner with her. Joe had decided to stay at the office late for some overtime. I pop the question to my girlfriend. And then here comes a revelation out of nowhere. She admits she was raped by Joe and the baby isn't mine. She says she isn't ready to make a commitment any more after being violated. You can imagine this makes me mad. I go home in a wild rage. I throw out all of Joe's stuff, and I am gonna kill him when he gets home. He finally come back at about 1AM maybe. And as soon as he opens the door, I punch him in his bastard face. His eye swells up like a boll of cotton. He swings at me, but I dodge and sweep his leg, causing him to fall down. I am in a giant rage now. I go to the kitchen, grab the meatcleaver out of the drawer, and go back to confront Joe. He jumps in his car and hightails it out of there. I haven't seen or heard from him since.



    So anyway, I'm on the phone a month later with my brother, and he finally asks why I've been so depressed. I tell him that if it hadn't been from cotton-eye Joe, I'd been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go, where did you come from, Cotton-Eye Joe?
     
  2. T V

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    what the hell am I reading?
     
  3. They be trippin

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    What.
     
  4. Snow Patrol

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    Need to contact me now? Add my MSN at: [email protected] or my Skype @joe.johnson237
     
  5. They be trippin

    They be trippin They be Strippin
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    oh shi-
     
  6. Shall Skill

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    same..
     
  7. Realsies

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    I remember that song...Mostly because my name is Joseph aka Joey aka Joe
     
  8. Emperor Nero

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    You're never fun.
     
  9. Jeff

    Jeff Previously named: Jeff.

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  10. RSKingdom-2012

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    Always sounded like coconut joe
     
  11. Spraynwipe

    Spraynwipe How soon is now?
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    Dafuq did I just contemplate...
     
  12. Noam

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    Go sue him and quietly ignore the whole punch in the face part.
     
  13. SmperFidelis

    SmperFidelis I just wanna live while I'm alive... 'Cause it's my life
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    inb4spamforumjoke.
     
  14. kill dank

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    I wish this were real.
     
  15. Nestle Pure Life

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    At least now you know your girlfriend has a penis.
     
  16. Austintheman

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    lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
     
  17. Wolfdog

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    Austin says lol!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I SAY LOL (backwards you see)
     
  18. nukeham

    nukeham Active Member
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    LMFAAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO dkmmmm you made my day
     
  19. tMoon

    tMoon FoRmErLy KnOwN aS Tmoe
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    I learned that song back in the 6th grade choir.
     
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