Dealing with a Break up

Hey guys hows it going?
alright this weekend, was a hell of a ride...
it started off that I rented a apartment for my ex and I to stay at after going night clubbing. My ex had a party to go to, so I didn't see her most of the time.
I've texted her just to make sure if shes okay, she says shes fine. Around 2 in the morning I started getting worried as a typical boyfriend would be and texted her and called her multiple times, until she replied she passed out at her friends place. What cut me that she could of either rang me to pick her up at the club or texted me if shes going to pass out; but nope her friends dropped her off like I said to her friends place. ( which I have no clue, if its a guys place ect and I do get jealous quite easily due to the fact I got cheated on 3 times before with my past ex's )

Then yeah, she said she would meet me at the apartment the next morning because she left her car at the apartment, before she headed out to the party.
I got pissed of ect like a typical BF should be, as we were driving home we discussed what happend during Saturday night. By the end of me dropping me off she decided to break up with me. IF only I wasn't worried so much about her, I reckon we would still be together hands down.

but that's not all, we nearly broke up last time but we talked it out. It was that shes busy too much seeing as she had to get a new job because she needed the money to go over to Vegas in a hip hop dance comp, as well she's busy with training ect and we only see each other at least 1-2 a week or none if it worst comes to worse.

She was discussing to me that, she didn't want me to wait for her... she wouldnt accept the fact she didn't want to get into a long distance relationship.

As we were talking in the car she said she is slowly losing intrest in me, and I could re-arrange that but she really didn't care.
I tried the best of my ability for her to change her decision to be back with me; but that didn't work.
Like come on, ditched me to stay at a friends than dump me the next day, I felt like crap.
She also mentioned that she's Slowly moving on and she doesn't think he will be back with me again.

We dated for almost 2 months, and it just felt like it was nothing to me..

It's been a day since we broke up, and im SLOWLY getting there but my friends just tell me to move on, but it's kinda hard to she means alot, and well I feel is we kinda broke up which was stupid; but yeah we still talk to each other but just not pass that friendship stage anymore.

For now till she gets back from Vegas, im trying to find new girls to date or hook up with to get her out my mind, but in the end she really is the one I want to be with for a long time, our chemistry was good together.

Would do you guys reckon, should I fight for her and wait, or do What I said above with finding new girls till she gets back, what's your guys verdict ? yes I want to still be with her just yeah..

well that kinda got out my mind, feels alot better

 

Okay, hello man.
Let's start off first by discussing what you're feeling sad about, right? You feel sad because you think that you have lost her and that you won't be able to recover what you both had and that is completely untrue. It is highly possible that you will get back together but you need to try for it to get it. Remember, if you want something bad, you gotta try to get it because the things you want won't come to you. Now, I'm assuming you have Facebook or something that you can contact her with, so, what you should do is just wait about a week and just start a gentle conversation with her. Make sure you don't push anything onto her, just, make sure she realises that you still like her and that you still have feelings for her. Now, do NOT be pushy. Being pushy is incredibly unattractive in a guy because I used to be pushy with my ex-girlfriend and that's how we finished. You just have to learn to stay happy, don't get your feelings muddled up and just keep smiling. If she says that she doesn't like you any more, ignore her, this is most likely untrue. If you can't resolve it, the best thing to do would be to just move on and find someone else who wants to be with you and spend time with you.

 

Hey Mr. Smith thanks for your quick response.
yeah Facebook and text, what you mean by being pushy? example? just people tell me different things.
Yeah that's what I'm trying to do ignore what she said and fight for her;
as well, the way she talked to me felt like she didn't care anymore, people say shes emotionally unavailable, which I think is true; but yeah what shall I do in the mean time?

 

I would say keep in contact till she gets back to Vegas. Then when she's back, maybe ask her out to lunch or something - Then catch up on each others lives and try to make it a good date for her so she can remember the good times of being with you.

If all hope is lost, then sorry but you would have to move on. Some girls are just total time wasters and want to be with you one day, then the next day act like they don't even know you.

I've had a friend that went out with a chick for YEARS and he bought her everything - bought her clothes, took her to eat, movies, gifts, etc. and just like that bam, that one day she broke up with him for another dude. Ugh, it disgusts me everytime I remember.

 

Sorry I mean getting back from Vegas, seeing as were from Australia haha sorry should of cleared that up. Yeah, though she leaves at the end of July.

Yeah she feels bad, for not staying with me Saturday night but yeah.

What shall I do In the mean time, while She gets back from Vegas at the end of August? See you girls? should I make her jealous with a new girl? lol dick move because I do promoting for a Night Club I reckon I can easily get girls. but yeah

man what you said with your friend that's shit, it really is can't believe they would do that. A shame how girls are just how to understand at times.

 

Honestly you aren't a dick for trying to pick up other girls if she broke up with you. Just go out with some friends and have some fun, best way to deal with it. She will probably creep your facebook/twitter/whatever and if you post pictures that show you are having a good time she will get jealous. The thing about her jealousy though is that she will probably second guess herself on why she broke up with you.

If she later approaches you about getting back together and you still want to then go for it, I never do as I personally don't think its a good idea, but the important thing is that you are going out and enjoying yourself and rebuilding some of the lost self-esteem.

 

Is that a true fact bro? she will you say creep your facebook/twitter/whatever and that if I post pictures showing im having a good time she will get jealous?
just if that's true I can make that happen lol

 

For most women it is usually. Just make sure it genuinely looks like you are having a good time, bring some friends that are women too, and get them to tag you in pictures with them and that will ignite jealously.

I asked my girlfriend as she woke up for work and she told me that she has done this several times and all of her close friends have hahaha.

 

Sounds quite effective, even if she broke up with me as the situation I told you guys? sounds so simple lol

 

Well the simple thing about it is that you just go out and have fun which is always fun and it takes your mind off of her for the most part, which is what you want to do.

If you do this with the mindset that if she comes back good, if not then that's good to then you are all set to go.

 

Hi, interesting case you have, i feel sorry this happened to you.

What my opinion is, you should let go of her, its gotta be the hardest thing to do im sure, but you gotta do that.. since she is the one who wanted to break up, and after reading your post, i think she was cheating on you....i could be wrong but thats what i thought as soon as i finished reading. I'd say, dont try and get a new date, or hook up with anyone just yet, wait a month or so, hang out with your friends, enjoy the epic life of a single, im pretty sure it will help you get over her, and then you can slowly make a move, find a new partner, slowly progress and so on. After what has happened, i wouldnt advise you to get back with her, instead, take a break, freshen up, enjoy all you can(dont get into drinking coz you'll end up thinking bout her and be loomy 24*7) and then when you feel its time to give relationships another shot, go for it
Hope this helps, Good luck (y).

 

If she tries to talk to you, don't respond, if she tries talking to you a second time, don't respond and if if she tries talking to you a third time, DO respond. This means she wants to talk to you otherwise she wouldn't constantly try too. I wish you good luck, mate.

 

That's the case when it comes on to facebook? and during the week day or what?

 

Id just try to move on from it. Shes already made it clear that she doesnt want to continue the relationship, although like Mr Smith stated, do respond on maybe the second or third time if she does try to contact you.
Dont throw yourself at her but just be yourself while also being cool, and if your feelings are the same when/if she contacts you then just let her know. But be sure to let her get on that subject first, dont go throwing your emotions into a conversation about weather.

But for the meantime, try to go out with friends and hang with other women, keep your mind busy and try not to fall into a depression about it. Dont let her feelings beat you up. go out and have fun and just dont think about it too much.

 

A little bit of a different thought is this, if she did that to you would you still want to get back with her? don't you think it may happen in the future. Im not saying to not try it but if you do make sure you're careful to not get TOO attached to her until you feel you can fully trust her.

just a thought bro, and my advice is to move on plenty of other fish in the sea.

 

Yes, that's on Facebook. If you pass her on the street, just look and smile then continue. Don't stop to talk.

 

Alright thanks everyone for your feedback, suggestions and Ideas I appreciate it.

My verdict is . .
That when she leaves to Vegas at the end of July and comes back at the end of August, I'll make a move in talking to her again like how we both started when we first met at the start of the year, from there hopefully it would start fresh.
at the mean time, I shall be a bit of a man whore and go for chicks to get my mind off her.

When she talks to me, I'll make the convos short and sweet and leave when it's via Facebook or in person. till she get's back.

It's her Birthday coming soon, shall I ignore it OR just say Happy birthday and staff... because I was actually meant to do a performance for her with my dance crew, but yeah I don't know what's happening with that now...

IF my plan doesn't work, hopefully while im flirting with other girls I should have by than a chicks number that I can date and forget about my ex.

Cool plan, yeah I know hey. haha.

 

I agree with Annex on this. Why would you be sentimental towards a girl that just dumped you? Trying to work things out with her would make you seem weak. Think about it, she dumped you and youre apologizing? Completely controlling a woman in a relationship isnt the way to go, but be a man and just move on from it. If you really want to keep her on your mind at least make her feel as if she's the one who lost something.

Trying to get back with her would only push her farther away. I wouldnt even say happy birthday to her or talk to her if i was in your position. Just live lif and mess with othr females and if she comes back and you still have feelings for her then just act on that. But seriously, the last thing you want to do is cry to her about your feelings.

 

Guys, enough with this already. Don't turn somebody's thread on a personal problem into a fight.

As for my opinion, I'm with Annex.
Although it might seem childish, it actually works.
Like he or she said, people end up wanting more of something that is unavailable, and less of what is available.

What Zerker said might be morally correct and of better posture (maturity.) But I've been there multiple times and it's not really all that effective.

 

Hey guys it's been a few weeks, and what you know she wanted to hang out which we did and we kissed and all and I think we are SLOWLY going back into a relationship! thanks guys for your advice in saying to ignore her for a few weeks, which it really did work!

Thanks again!