Arranged Marriages?

What is your opinion on arranged marriages? This is something common for most of Asia/Africa as well as parts of Europe. Do you think that you can build love & trust on something like this.

If you aren't familiar with Arranged Marriages the process is similar to below:

You make a document similar to a Resume called a Bio-Data. It includes a Picture of yourself, Education, Parents Education, Occupation and some personal characteristics of yourself. You then send that to other individuals families groom or bride and they analyze it and think if you would be a suitable partner for their child. Then it moves on from there and so on.

Personally, I think Arranged Marriages are terrible. It's hard to form trust with a stranger yet alone love. In the 21st century we 'date' and 'go out' to know our partner to be. In Arranged Marriages this step is skipped completely and you have to build it somehow. I can understand that trust is built over time, but love? To be honest I cant find a way that this is formed. But this is my opinion, and Arranged Marriages lead to conflict later on in life. Most people are unaware of this but it is dominant in many families where the women has no decision making power. All decisions are made directly by the groom/man which leads to a bad quality of life for either party down the track. So, to sum up what I think, I think we should move away from the days of Arranged Marriages as they most likely will always lead to conflict and problems if not soon but latter in the couples lives due to something arising resulting in a major disagreement which will greatly impact their child's lives 'Taking into consideration that they have children'.

 

Its bad girls from 13 years old are getting marriade to 50 year olds totally ridiculous in my opinion thats child abuse.

 

Hmmm.

I wish I could have an adamant answer, but I believe the answer is really relative to belief, so I'll keep it short and concise.

Love marriages are more likely to fail than arranged marriages, and this has been statistically proven. This more so has to do with the reason that arranged marriages are backed with cultural pressure, approved parent-in-laws, family support, and just has a slightly different mentality.

My dad said it's my choice as long the parents are okay, and I do see the logic in that.

Good parents= good child in the long run more times than none
Bad parents= bad child in the long run more than none
(A lot to do with habitual learning, i.e. discipline, etc.)

I am a firm believer that love marriages without parental approval are bound to experience more obstacles and problems.

Here's an article about arranged marriage and it has a link inside with more facts!

http://www.professorshouse.com/Relationships/Marriage-Advice/Articles/Arranged-Marriage-Facts/

 

Hardly common in parts of Europe, But in Arab/Asian cultures its more of forced marriage as half the time the 2 don't want to marry eachother anyways.

 

Your logic isn't correct. Just because I had these hard working, god fearing parents doesn't mean that I am going to turn out to be a hard working, god fear person. This is the nature vs. nurture debate though.

On topic, as I digress, I do not believe in arranged marriages. It is utterly disgusting to use children as pawns to move your way through a social ladder or to make money. The truth is that the only reason arranged marriages work most of the time is threat of death, take the honor killings that occur all over the world as an example. As a westerner I am not going to trust someone that I meet for 15 minutes several months before my wedding.

 

You are making a statement with no backing, rather than actual observation.
Statistics. Look up statistics of which children are more successful. With or without better parents before you assume no logic. Either discipline or no discipline, and although you can say that there are exceptions of this case, fact of the matter is that more times than none, parents play a role in the child's life. Read on this link below before you make an erroneous statement about logic based on stats.

http://www.guardian.co.uk/education/2010/oct/29/middle-class-children-better-school

http://jbrpsychology.com/better-parents-relationship-matters-most/

& I suppose I did not answer the question, but I am against forced arranged marriage. It is against one's own will half the time.

 

I can find statistics that argue either way, it isn't a matter of statistics. That is why it is a debate and an on-going argument in the psychological and sociological fields. What defines our personalities? How do they form? What makes us good or bad?
I agree that the environment has influence on them, it doesn't mean that they're going to end up that way. I mean look at serial killers, while many came from bad homes many also came from normal homes.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Nature_versus_nurture


http://www.psych.ucsb.edu/research/cep/primer.html
http://www.nytimes.com/2011/12/20/s...primate-social-behavior-study-finds.html?_r=2

But I won't argue further as it will derail the topic.

 

Alright, thank you for the information, but I'll start a thread on this; I suppose slightly related.

To keep this thread on topic, marriage should be choice, and I think anyone that is of their right mind would agree.

 

that is just a totally rediculous and Ignorant comment, that might of happened in the early 1920s but arranged marriages are basicly the parents pick a person who is sutiable, and the Son/Doughter has a choice, they can say yes or no, its basicly a suggestion.

 

You must not have a concept of what an arranged marriage is. They are arranged for the children and are forceful. The participants have no choice.

 

Building on to what you said, most of the time they basicly "whore" their daughter to older men.
This is because they are willing to pay which in my mind is horrible and there should be punishment.
We learned about this is world history, about this happening in Africa. Very sad.

 

i have a perfect concept, not all arranged marriages are like that, some parents will give their Children choices,

 

Then they would be suggestions of marriage, not 'arranged marriages'.

As defined by Wiki:
"Arranged marriages are usually seen in Indian, traditional European and African cultures, especially among royalty, and are usually decided by the parents or an older family member. The match could be selected by parents, a matchmaking agent, matrimonial site, or a trusted third party. In many communities, priests or religious leaders as well as relatives or family friends play a major role in matchmaking."

Which means the participants have no choice in the matter of picking their spouse but consent to their parents matchmaking. It is used as a tool to either gain money/business, social standing, or royalty most of the time.

 

Forced marriage - no.

Though I've heard stories of very happy couples who were a result of arranged marriages, no one should be 'forced' to marry someone.

 

This guys got it IMO.

 

Do not agree one bit marriage is all about the two getting married in love arranged marrage what if you have nothing in common with the girl ect?

 

Arranged marriages?
You mean institutionalized rape?

...

 

Arranged marriage is their culture. I do believe that people should be able to choose who they marry, but most of the times it is an economic reason why they are wed.

 

I'd hate it.

 

The fact that children are being forced (mainly young women) into relationships with men that can be 20-30 years older than them is child abuse