Being a nice guy

So I've talked about it with my ex before, I realized how I turned into a doormat the more nice I was to her.

After breaking with her, I thought about it and thought why do women prefer bad boys? That wasn't the reason why we broke up,. I felt like I was being taken advantage of for months. I only remembered it after reading posts off a video from Yahoo News:
http://screen.yahoo.com/let-s-talk-about-love-why-do-women-date-bad-boys-26790621.html

It was exactly what I thought, stories about good guys, people's experience. Nice guys finish last, I'm a nice guy and I can't change, at least I think that I can't.

I've read people saying that women didn't like them and went with a bad boy over them, years later when the woman gets babies and struggles financially, the guy leaves her and she tries to go back to the nice guy. By then, the nice guy is pretty much established.

So my problem is I don't want that to happen to me, and I can't be a bad guy or even act like one. I don't want girls to realize that they want me a decade later when she has kids and gets dumped/divorced by the bad guy. How could I open their eyes to this, most women likes bad boys and they don't realize how horrible it could be until they go through it. There are a very few girls that actually prefers nice guys.

In high school, in my senior year, I finally admitted to the girl I had a crush on that I liked her, I didn't have a choice anyway. She was very nice, and I know that she didn't want to let me down or hurt me, so she always had a reason why we couldn't be together, but I know she was interested in bad boys and probably still is.

Although I'm completely over her, I just don't want to end up with something like "a used car", basically women that have been treated like dirt by bad boys. And that is pretty much what most nice guys experience, because girls don't realize what they actually want and need without experiencing what they think they want.

Is there any way to show this to a girl? Without them ending up by taking advantage of you, taking things for granted and never really appreciating what you do and did?

I may have been a little confusing, but I'm just a bit tired. I basically want someone that isn't "an old used car", I use that term because that's basically what they end up like. I want someone that would appreciate me and not take advantage of me because I'm too nice. But how would I do it? Simply telling them what I am and what I should and shouldn't do? They need to realize that they would want a nice guy in the long run.

I read a post where after years of marriage, a girl divorces her husband for a bad boy, struggles, fails, bad boy leaves her and she tries to go back to the nice guy, when she was nothing, who didn't accept her. I never want that to happen to me.

 

You have to find a way to put nice and bad together.
Often younger girls go the bad guys as they think it's cool etc, but as they grow older and have had some experience they start to realise that bad boys suck.

If you're nice to them and they take advantage, acknowledge that and don't let them.

 

What do you mean by "to put nice and bad together"? Also I'm going off now, looking forward to another post of yours later

 

Well, girls will always deny it... But they are weird.

I'll give you an example, your out at a club or something and you and your friend see a girl you both like. You speak to the girl and then walk off and do your own thing, how ever your friend stays and chats with her the whole night, but you are ignoring her. She will be like "WTF why is he ignoring me?" (you being bad) which makes her want to know why, so she will approach you to find out rather than you approaching her, then you get speaking etc.
It's the same with normal things, for instance help her out sometime then ignore her the next and she will always be like WTF? She doesn't get how you work and she will want to know more about you and why you're like that.

Girls will always deny that, but it's true..

 

You have to balance out good and bad in your attitude. Be good to your girl, but not a push over. Like listen to what she says, randomly get her stuff, and always be honest. Girls know that if they are dating someone that is always good, that then when the girl is in a bit of trouble with another person, or anything, the guy will not stand up for her.
Just a question, no offence meant by it, but are you shy about something physical to do with you (voice, to skinny, to fat, freckles, glasses, etc..)?

 

So basically being mysterious. Yes, when I first migrated and went to highschool, I didn't realize I was being like that, and loads of girls had a crush on me :laugh:

But that is a good point, never thought of it. I guess I could be a bit bad if it was in that way, but I can't hurt or treat a girl much worse than that like other guys do.

I am a bit fat, but with clothes I don't look like it, I look fit. I have glasses, they used to bother me, now they don't and I'm not shy about it.

 

This isn't really, something to worry about, you'll find the girl you love when the time comes, not every girl likes "bad boys".

Anyways, if you want difference advice, maybe should try and dress nicer, and keep your options open, most girls will want you more if they see that they have competition.

Also don't try to change your personality over stuff posted over the internet or negative thoughts, there will be girls and other people, such as employers who would love it.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xfeys7Jfnx8