Upperclassmen Problems.

I'm a freshman in highschool and earlier this year I made JV hockey( big accomplishment for me, a lot of people got cut).

3 of my best friends also made the team, but so did this junior. It was his first time making it. The season started out fine but recently he has started being a real dick to me. He calls me gay( I am NOT gay), and is always cherping on me. The other kids on the team are starting to join him too.

I'm not a nerd/looser at school I have a lot of friends, its just at hockey and its starting to bother me a lot.

I've tryed giving it back to him, but he is just so good at giving out insults I can't think fast enough. I've even locker boxed him and destroyed him.

Anyone help? I really see no way out of this, please don't tell me to go up and confront him, it wont work

 

talk to ur coach/school counselor about this lol?

 

Plan responses for his "typical" insults, but make it seem like off the top of your head.

 

If the abuse is really bugging you that much, you could try and talk to the couch or a counsellor etc. and get them to privately talk to this kid and make him stop. Hopefully it would stay "behind the scenes" and wouldn't be a big messy situation, and he would stop making fun of you in front of the other kids.

Now I've been in this situation myself before when I started working at a grocery store when I was 14 or 15. I worked there with a couple kids from school, and this one guy who I was loosely friends with made it a point to constantly harrass me, pick on me with insults, and make me the target of his jokes. My other friends were very surprised as this rarely ever happens to me, and so they all awaited my reaction. I ended up fighting fire with fire.

I made this kid the target of every joke I could think of, fire back funny & witty remarks when he would make a crack at me, got the other kids on my side. Eventually I felt bad because I ended up being so mean & harsh to him that his whole demeanor completely changed and he became very quiet and withdrawn around me at work, obviously his feelings had been very hurt. I stopped after that and I never had a problem with him, or anybody else at work every again.

I'm not saying that was the best way to go about handling the situation, but in my case it was the only thing I saw that would work at the time, and the advantage of fighting fire with fire is that it sets an example for any other kids who may be thinking they'd like to join in and treat you like shit. After they all saw what I did to that kid, nobody ever even considered beaking me again, in fear that I would do the same thing to them.

Another strategy is to just kind of "go along" with the jokes and the comments, laugh at yourself with everybody and show people that you are not bothered by the abuse, and that you find it funny too. Hopefully this will make you less of a target as the bully will see that his efforts are not really affecting you the way he wants, and will move on to somebody else. It also sets a good example for people to realize that its ok to crack jokes about yourself once in awhile and laugh at yourself and you don't always have to take everything so seriously.

 

Treat him the way he treats you so he can have an understanding of what he is putting you through,
If it becomes too personal and it really comes down too it, you can always resort to fighting,
But to take the mature route, I suggest you tell him the situation, and if he continues on, take matters into your own hands.

 

Personally the best way is to truly ignore his comments and insults. Only then will you be truly unaffected and happy. By fighting/fighting fire with fire you are not going to progress much. Don't let his pathetic words bother you, his a loser. And a loser's words don't mean anythin.

 

The easiest thing to do would probably be ignoring his remarks. I used to have the same problem, except the junior would treat me like a punching bag whenever he saw me, and just beat up on me for a fre seconds. At first it really bothered me, naturally, because it hurt. Eventually, I just gave up on the kid, because he had no intention of stopping. Once I stopped being bothered, he got bored, because he no longer saw my anger like he used to. People only bother you because they're insecure, and when you show them that you're secure in yourself, and not bothered by their childish ways, they'll lay off of you. Best of luck.

 

Here are a few options in my opinion:

1. Get better at retaliating via insults
2. Humiliate him (make him kiss your shoes in front of everyone or something)
3. Snitch
4. Ignore him

Personally I'd go for number 2, call him a queer when he's kissing your shoes or something and turn the crowds attention on insulting him rather than you.

 

This happened to me in football in JV, which of course is a contact sport like hockey. So, during hitting drills, I told the coach I want to be paired with him, and I wooped his ass in every hitting drill. One time when I hit him, I said, you say any more shit about me, Ima kick your ass this time. For you, it's kinda the same, cept i don't think their are hitting drills, but try to hit him as hard as possible every opportunity you get, it might get in his head that you are pissed. Also, just come up with witty comebacks, and just make fun of him saying that his comments are not original at all. I like to say, "I remember when I was 5 and learned my first burn." Seems to work... Anyways, good luck.