In love with my best friend

Her name is Emily. I met her last year. I thought she was attractive from the beginning, but I never really liked her until the beginning of this school year. I planned on asking her to Homecoming, but then another guy asked her so I asked another girl. The day after I asked the other girl, Emily's date ditched her, but I didn't want to be a jerk and ditch my date, so she went with her friends.

I thought it was going pretty well, we hung out at every football game and during lunch every day. I was starting to really like her, and I was getting up the courage to ask her out.

That is, until 2 months ago, when she started going out with a senior (we're sophmores). It wasn't that big of a deal for me, but it was a little painful seeing her with another guy so I just tried to forget about her and focus on school and sports. But we still hung out everyday and studied together and I started to like her even more. She's really smart and we always compete over tests and things.

Her boyfriend broke up with her on Monday and I know she still likes him. I went to her house the day after and we just hung out and studied for like 9 hours. She told me she's had bad experiences with boys and that she doesnt want to have another boyfriend in high school.

Now that school is on break, we talk on the phone for like an hour every day. It seems like she always is flirting with me and wants to hang out, but that could just be because we're friends. She wants to study together every day over break. I kinda want to ask her out when we go back to school, but I don't want to ruin our friendship if she doesn't like me.

Should I tell her? Or should I just be friends with her?

 

I suggest you hint at it, but don't actually make it obvious.
If she picks up on the hints, and likes you, she'll let you know, and if she doesn't, she'll pretend to ignore them so it doesn't make it awkward

 

What kind of hints? I'm not very good at this.

 

You're what? 15 or 16 maybe? Just don't mistake her being nice/friendly for her flirting, because a lot of girls are nice but they aren't flirting. I dated one of my best friends and then things weren't the same after that, so it will probably strain your friendship if you are more in lust than in love. It is ultimately your choice though. If I could go back I wouldn't have dated my friend because we just drifted apart after that, so just think about it before you do anything too drastic.

 

I know how you feel, and like one of the above posters, I'd be careful to misinterpret her flirty remarks as an indication that she likes you. Girls are very strange. I made that mistake, and assumed she liked me. The ensuing rejection from her wasn't all that fun to deal with.

On another note, you're clearly infatuated with her, and you'll always regret it if you don't tell her how you feel, and at least make an attempt at dating her.

My advice would be to go for it. As you're clearly very good friends, I wouldn't make it something out of the blue. During the break, you should drop some hints, and see how she responds. I'm no expert on "dropping hints", but this WikiHow might help you:

http://www.wikihow.com/Drop-Hints-to-a-Girl-That-You-Like-Her

Your role right now is to be a supportive friend, while giving her the idea that you can be more than just a supportive friend. She needs time to recover from her break-up, and this is where you can step in and show her what a great guy you are.

If she likes you, you'll most likely end up dating. If she doesn't, there's not much you can do about it, as you've been friend-zoned.

Best of luck.

 

This happened to me with an old ex best friend of mine. We hung out together, we talked about what people we like/are seeing, we laughed, we flirted, it was great. I always knew she liked me more than just a friend, and I liked her too. So, one time, I decided to kind of test it, and we watched a movie in my bed (horror). I comforted her while her being scared, then did my usual, poke on the side of her, which she is really ticklish. We had our gay tickle fight, but she ended up on top of me, and we both looked into each others eyes, and kissed. Idk dude... I say test it out, like what above posters said, hint at it. Don't just always study with her, ask if she wants to go grab something to eat sometime, and if she asks if its a date, just be like pshh no, just friends. But, it will get her thinking. Just do things couples would do, minus the physical things. Sooner or later, it will end up getting physical if things continue to go well. Anywho, I don't know if that helped, but just test the waters, and see what happens. Good luck!

 

Sounds like a pretty tricky situation, and here's my advice speaking from a personal and third party point of view.

Stay classy and be a good guy. Any good guy would know that every girl needs her time and space after a break-up. She JUST got out of a relationship, and instead of preying on her vulnerability and need for companionship, be there for her as a friend. Be there for her when she just wants someone to talk to or hang out with.

In due time things will blossom. Don't rush things and don't do or say something you'll regret. Let her move at the pace she seems necessary and trust me, you'll know if she wants something.

For now, just keep being what you are, a good friend.

 

Thanks for the advice guys, I feel like I have a better idea of what to do now.

Gratz on mod btw, Snow Patrol.

 

I feel as if It's too soon to ask her out after just recently coming out of a relationship. If I was you, I'd wait it out for a few weeks and then ask her out. It sounds as if shes really into you so even if she days no, I'm sure you can remain friends.

 

i think you should tell her. like dont be shy about it, just let her know straight up how you feel, she might feel the same way. Try not to be aggressive as she just got out of a relationship. friendships usually are the best way to start dating. but dont wait until its too late.

 

Imagine's first post was 100% accurate. Hint at it and if she changes her behavior at all you'll know. If she likes you back she'll do essentially what you're doing to her back to you and if she wants to stay friends she will try to change subject very fast or act different you know? And if she doesn't get it at all keep hinting but if she's not understanding that's kind of a bad thing because then it probably means she doesn't have it on her mind meaning she doesn't like you back. But it's not that black and white so take a chance but slowly ease her into it.

 

Don't live life with the "What if" mentality. If she is what you want, try it out. If your friendship is that strong, you'll still be friends with or without an intimite relationship.

 

Honestly , just let it out and tell her how you feel . But when doing so , also remind her and tell her you respect her feelings and that you understand that she just got out of a relationship . To put it simple , tell her how you feel about her , but respect and don't infiltrate her boundaries that she has set out for the moment .

 

Bro, don't do anything. You're on the friend-zone. Sorry.

 

This girl clearly doesnt know what she wants. You do, however.

So, here is my consise solutions:

A. Tell her the deal and go from there.
B. Tell her and forget about it until she CLEARLY pursues you
C. Enjoy high school, talk to other girls

How many people are in your class bro? Dont get hung up on one girl if it gets too much. You are a strong person, you dont need that.

Edit: if you pick A or B and you THINK you are friend-zoned, PM me, I have a very easy social dynamic to get rid of that.

 

I don't think you should just ask her out after break. I think you can tell her that you have feelings for her first and see what the outcome is. If she tells you she likes you too, then thats good. If she doesn't, you can always still be friends unless she finds it too strange.

 

Theres around ~700 people in my class, 3000+ total at the school.

On a second note, do you guys think I should get her a Christmas present? or is that a "boyfriend-only" thing to do.

 

You've known her for a year , it's perfectly normal to buy her a gift .

 

Girl's rarely make the first move, do what makes you feel comfortable and if you are in an environment which you feel like you can talk openly, tell her, if you don't ask you don't get.

 

I disagree, girls make the "first move" a lot which means if you don't ask, you can still get.