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Santa Claus(e)

Discussion in 'Spam Forum' started by bennytheberry, Dec 25, 2008.

  1. bennytheberry

    bennytheberry Grand Master
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    Santa Claus(e)

    So, the question at hand is: Is Santa Claus(e) (AKA St. Nick)(AKA Chris Cringle)(AKA Father Christmas)(ect.) real?

    I was speaking to my cousin this morning about this very topic. She said a lot of valid points. Such as, "the presents don't leave themselves there." She also added, "My mother and father are allergic to the cookies we left out."

    After the debate I went home and discovered this.

    At the moment I am leaning towards him being real.

    What do you think??
     
  2. iHavok

    iHavok Active Member

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    Santa Claus(e)

    I'm 16
    Found out the hard way when I was 10

    Believe what you want to believe, but sooner or later we all find out the same conclusion
     
  3. tubba lub

    tubba lub Guru
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    Santa Claus(e)

    Um, how old are you Benny? I helped my mom put out the presents from "santa" last night.
     
  4. bennytheberry

    bennytheberry Grand Master
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    Santa Claus(e)

    Please do not spam this topic with lies. Santa put those presents out.
     
  5. pink

    pink Forum Addict
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    Santa Claus(e)

    Saint Nicholas was a real person, and he actually did deliver presents to children in his Turkish village during his lifetime.

    But as for the popularized santa (red suit, big beard), that is utterly false.
     
  6. Ughster

    Ughster Learn to Remember
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    Santa Claus(e)

    I saw Santa once.

    By the way, the article is flawed, santa uses a quantum teleportation reindeer to transcend the dimension of time allowing him to simultaneously visit every child at once, effectively delivering his presents and spreading Christmas cheer.

    Unfortunately, Santa has sold out in the recent years and has started purchasing all of his presents in bulk from walmart. He has become greedy and corrupted! He's fueling the corporations that are destroying our society! (He's the anti-christ, man!)
     
  7. bennytheberry

    bennytheberry Grand Master
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    SFA is about proof; not what you think and feel.


    HOLY FUCK! What did he look like?
     
  8. Ughster

    Ughster Learn to Remember
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    Santa Claus(e)

    He threatened to turn me into an elf and kidnap me to work as a slave inside his north pole sweatshop if I told anyone about what happened that night....
     
  9. FlubbyWubs

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    Santa Claus(e)

    Im one of his elves.
    Is there much more to say?
     
  10. bennytheberry

    bennytheberry Grand Master
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    Santa Claus(e)

    Thank you very much for the insight.

    Don't worry. I'm good at keep secrets.
     
  11. TJ

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    Santa Claus(e)

    Say that about the religious threads >.>

    I set out presents from 'santa' for my little sister also..and no more were out when we woke up this morning.

    So, hows that go?
     
  12. bennytheberry

    bennytheberry Grand Master
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    Santa Claus(e)

    Well, this is what most likely happened. Santa transcended the dimensions of time to your house. He then hopped off of his reindeer and jumped down to the bottom of the chimney. If you don't have a chimney, he teleports in. Then he looks around to find the tree to put the Christmas Presents under. If there is no tree, he puts them in the next best spot. However, in very rare cases, there are already presents under the tree (or at next best spot). If this is the case he usually just blesses each present. And then he goes to the next house.
     
  13. TJ

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    Santa Claus(e)

    So santa is a religious freak now?
    What would blessing the presents do?
    Where would the next best spot be if they do not have a tree?
     
  14. bennytheberry

    bennytheberry Grand Master
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    1. He always has been, although I'm sure he would appreciate being called a "freak". You might be put on the naughty list for that =/ .

    2. It usually brings great luck to whomever opens them.

    3. The spot is decided by Mr. Clause at the time of the incident. There is not a set spot.
     
  15. TJ

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    Luck for what?
     
  16. Xix

    Xix Fresh.
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    Santa Claus(e)

    Haha I find this as a joke right? Every kid finds out around 9 years old that santa isn't real. If he was real, he would have upgraded his pad at the Northpole for a mansion in L.A, with the money made off the Christmas Holiday industry. Oh, and I heard Santa is lactose intolerant, :O
     
  17. bennytheberry

    bennytheberry Grand Master
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    Isn't it obvious? Luck to beat Sim City.
     
  18. 333

    333 Grand Master
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    Santa Claus(e)

    Christmas was started when a man in Europe somewhere started giving out presents on Jesus' birthday. His name was probably Nick. we learned that during English class for some reason from some girl, she was hot.

    well here's some more info on wiki
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Santa_Claus
     
  19. Xanti-Xhero

    Xanti-Xhero Active Member
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    1. Your parents sign the presents from Santa.
    2. The garbage can take care of those allergen-filled cookies.
     
  20. bennytheberry

    bennytheberry Grand Master
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    1. Prove it.

    2. Lil' Wayne could also take care of those allergen-filled cookies.
     
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