Needing some help.

Well, it's 4 AM here, and I can't sleep. I've had enough of ranting, I just want help. I am either horribly depressed with everything or I can't relate to anyone. Please don't mistake this for a pity party, as I genuinely want to change.

Right now, I'm telling myself that I'll wake up at 1ish, shower, do my homework and get to my 5:30 class. What will really happen is I'll wake up, go straight to my computer and go online until I'm almost late to class.

The whole thing school I'm not worried too much about since it's really just more of an addiction, but I get shit done sometimes. What worries me is that I don't find joy in anything else but this. I have tried making friends, and even hanging out with said friends, but I'd rather be online where I'm most comfortable.

But what bothers me the most is that every day here in this apartment seems so dark and miserable. I went outside just today, it was beautiful out, but it was depressingly melancholic at the same time. Every day is a different mood for me, and it saddens me to no end when it's orange out and I'm sitting alone and I wonder how no one else sees it the way I see it.

I hope I don't sound like I'm moaning and bitching, but I've tried therapy, I've tried making friends, learning an instrument, and I don't know what I'm even trying to explain right now because I can't do it.

Please help

 

Go hoop. Hooping cures everything. And smoke a lot of weed.

 

You sir, are an idiot.


OP- Have you tried talking to your doctor about maybe getting on some anti-depressants?
Reason i asked was because my very good friend, recently was going through something very similar to your problem, and she went on some medication perscribed by her doctor (can't remember the name) but lately she seems very happy about life, more down the earth and more sociable.

I really hope you find your calling in life, everyone has something to look forward too, although many don't find it until later in life, i sincerely hope you find it soon.