Man Laws

That other thread gave me this idea to post these. A couple friends of mine, made these awhile back. It's mainly a joke, but tell me what you think.

The Man Laws:

1. Bro's before ho's.
2. Sunday stands for Football. And Mondays. And some Thursdays and Saturdays.
3. Man must be able to consume ridiculous amounts of Buffalo Wings.
4. Tequila does not make her clothes fall off. You must be smooth enough to do it yourself.
5. Sleep after mating. Man must regenerate for the next time HE feels the desire.
6. Must practice drinking games to improve our already ridiculously great skills.
7. Even if your making love with 100 women, never put another man in it.
8. No snitching on a fellow Man.
9. Leo Dicaprio is NOT gay, he is a great actor.
10. When lonely, turn to Jill.
11. You mess with one bean, you get the whole burrito.
12. Garages may only be decorated by calendars picturing cars, trucks, motorcycles, or hawt babe models.
13. A man shall not be obligated to give up his seat to a woman during any Game.
14. If it smells Ok, wear it.
15. Under no circumstances may 2 men share an umbrella.
16. If you have known a guy for over 24 hours, his sister is off limits.
17. On road trips, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.
18. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of flatulent entertainment, she's officially your girlfriend.
19. It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're sunning on a tropical beach... and it's delivered by a topless model and only when it's free.
20. Women who claim they "love to watch sports" must be treated as spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to drink as much as the other sports watchers.
21. If you compliment a guy on his six-pack, you'd better be talking about his choice of beer.
22. We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is:
-"GUTS" is arriving home late after a night out with the guys, being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, "are you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?"
-"BALLS" is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife on the rear and having the balls to say, "You're next!"
23. The Legend is true; you will pee when the sexy water hits your manly skin.
24. If it isnt microwavable, then let HER cook it.

These rules aren't set, if you'd like to add one post it, and I'll put it up.

 

I don't agree with most of them coz i respect most chicks so they'd probably find some of that offensive. I only found one of those funny, and it made up for all the crap ones lol:

17. On road trips, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

 

I got 1 for ya :
If she cheats on you once, shes gonna cheat on u again. =)

 

You can't do bro's before ho's, that's gay.. Rephrased: Dicks before Chicks..

That's not a 'man' law

 

Man must gamble atleast once a month. Alcohol and women are expected to be present.

 

Hahah that dicks before chicks is good, next time someone says 'dude, what happened to bro's before ho's'. I'll be like 'dude, thats gay, thats saying dicks before chicks' lol.

 

They are supposed to be sexist, that's the point.

 

dose arent funny

 

Appalling, disrespectful, sexist, stereotypical, common and nasty.

 

Take a joke?

They're not supposed to be taken seriously, and they were made by a bunch of teenage guys. What do you expect?

 

don't you just love a good joke?

 

On road trips, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest.

I only found this one funny because it wasn't sexist and offensive.

But I still don't get it.

 

What don't you understand?
"On road trips, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not the weakest."

If you were refferring to that it means no one is gonna stop to go to the toilet until everyone has to go. So if you got a weak bladder then you just have to hold on until the guy with the strongest bladder needs to go lol.

 

That statement is false. People can change if they do something wrong.

 

Yeah but i don't think they should have cheated on you in the first place. Without a plausible explanation i don't really think they should be given a second chance..

 

Lol, that list is great.

This ones good:
24. If it isnt microwavable, then let HER cook it.

Relates to me, greatly.

 

If you were my husband, that would probably result in having no balls shortly after...

 

Oh dear... oh dear god.

 

In a biff.
Never hit them in the balls.
Never hit a man form behind.
Never have uneven odds. i.e. 2 on 1.

 

Also never use a weapon in a fight .