?~!Joke Thread?!~

Well, i guess i will start up a joke thread which we did on our old site. So...

Bring your best, or go home. A'ight.

Hit it.

 

How do you blind a chinese man? With a shoelace!

I got heaps more, might post up later.

 

There has been a lot of these but maybe this one will be different. Anyways here's mine:
If Helen Keller were psychic, would she call it a fourth sense?

Found it on a site so it's not my joke

 

there were two blondes walking with each other in the woods. They came across a set of tracks. One blonde said they were deer tracks, the other said they were fox tracks. so they started following the tracks and kept arguing. An hour and a half later they got hit by a train.

 

Now that was funny!^_^
Ok here is mine:

there are 3 girls in a pool a blond brunet and a red head. as there are in the pool a cell phone starts ringing and the brunet takes her hand out of the water and says sorry i had a cell phone inplated into m hand about 2 mins l8r a pager goes of and the red head looks at her wrist and says sorry i had a pager inplated into my wrist. well the blond feel left out because she doesn't have anything so she goes into the bathroom shuvs toilet paper up her a$$ and comes out and says sorry that's my fax going off.

I know its not the best but it made me laugh first time i herd it

 

zezima saw a pregnent lady and said summoning lvl?

 

hmm... -googles funniest joke ever-

what about this?:

Once I saw this guy on a bridge about to jump. I said, "Don't do it!" He said, "Nobody loves me." I said, "God loves you. Do you believe in God?"

He said, "Yes." I said, "Are you a Christian or a Jew?" He said, "A Christian." I said, "Me, too! Protestant or Catholic?" He said, "Protestant." I said, "Me, too! What franchise?" He said, "Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Baptist or Southern Baptist?" He said, "Northern Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist or Northern Liberal Baptist?"

He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist." I said, "Me, too! Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region, or Northern Conservative Baptist Eastern Region?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region." I said, "Me, too!"

Northern Conservative†Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1879, or Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912?" He said, "Northern Conservative Baptist Great Lakes Region Council of 1912." I said, "Die, heretic!" And I pushed him over.

hehe

 

How to get 4 gay guys to sit on a chair: Turn it upside down.

 

Okay, maybe I snickered.

Anyhow, this thread is fucking gay.

I am sorry, but if someone wanted to hear jokes they would go to Google and type "Jokes" and get a shit load of hilarious shit.

 

Whats long hard and full of cemen?

...a submarine!

 

Ok

There is this Mom, and Dad; they just got back from there evening dinner. Well the son walks in and his mouth drops; He see's his dad with his pants pulled down banging his mom from behind. The dad looks up and says "Shhh" to the kid. An hour later, the dad says "Well might go look for him". So the dad looks around and starts talking, But he does not see his kid and is like "I wonder where that little bastard is". So an hour later he walks down stairs and he see's Grandma with her girdle pulled up bent over, The dad ask "Son what the fuck are you doing", This kid replies "Its not so funny when its ur mom is it"

 

Not funny, nor a joke, its just fucking wrong

 

Haha no it's called a dirty joke and i rofl'd! :laugh:

Anyway i got one,
it's a bit shitty but here goes

A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in.

“Mother, where do babies come from?”

The mother thinks for a few seconds and says, “Well dear, Mommy and Daddy fall in love and get married. One night they go into their bedroom, they kiss and hug and have sex.”

The daughter looks puzzled so the mother continues, “That means the daddy puts his penis in the mommy’s vagina. That’s how you get a baby, honey.” The child seems to comprehend.

“Oh, I see, but the other night when I came into your room you had daddy’s penis in your mouth. What do you get when you do that?”

“Jewelry, my dear. Jewelry.”

 

A blonde is sitting in a rowing boat in the middle of a field.

Another blonde drives by, gets out of her car and shouts over to the blonde in the field:

"Its blondes like you that gives us other blondes a bad name, If I could swim I'd come and teach you a lesson!"

 

A child walks up to his mother in the kitchen ans says "Granny's got a prawn!" the mother is confused and asks the child "what do you mean?", again the child repeats "Granny's got a prawn!". The mother is confused and walks into the lounge with her son, her son points to his Grandmothers protruding clitoris and says "Granny's got a prawn!". The mother laughs and turns to her son, "that's not a prawn, it's Granny's clitoris." The child looks confused, looks up to his mother and said "Well it sure tasted like a prawn!"

 

Why can't Mexicans play Uno? They keep taking all the green cards.

How do you drown a blond? Put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a pool.

 

I dig.