Recent content by danconia

40m rs3 to 6.35m 07 vouched

BUMP Joke of the day: An organization is like a tree full of monkeys, all on different limbs at different levels. The monkeys on top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces. The monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes.

BUMP Joke of the day: A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says, "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her, "The driver just insulted me!" The man says, "You go right up there...

BUMP Joke of the day: Q: Why can't a blonde dial 911? A: She can't find the eleven.

BUMP Joke of the day: One day in class, the teacher brought a bag full of fruit and said, "Now class, I'm going to reach into the bag and describe a piece of fruit and you tell me which fruit I'm talking about. Alright, the first one is round, plump, and red. Little Johnny raised his hand high...

BUMP Joke of the day: If Hillary Clinton and Donald Trump are in a boat and it capsizes. Who survives? America.

Legit. When I'm low, he steps in to help. Ty.

BUMP Joke of the day: A Pastor goes to a nursing home for the first time to visit an elderly parishioner. As he is sitting there, he notices a bowl of peanuts beside her bed and takes one. As they continue their conversation, he can't help himself and eats one after another. By the time they...

BUMP Joke of the day: A frog goes to a fortune teller and asks if he is going meet a young girl. The psychic tells him, "Yes, you are." The frog replies, "Where? In a bar or at a party?" The psychic says, "In biology class."

BUMP Joke of the day: "Ordinarily, staring is creepy. But if you spread your attention across many individuals, then it's just people watching."

BUMP Joke of the day: "Two cannibals were eating a clown – one said to the other, 'Does he taste funny to you?"

BUMP Joke of the day: One night, Murphy was walking home when, all of a sudden, a thief jumped on him. Murphy and the thief began to wrestle. They rolled about on the ground and Murphy put up a tremendous fight. However, the thief managed to get the better of him and pinned him to the ground...

BUMP Joke of the day: Teacher: "Kids, what does the chicken give you?" Student: "Meat!" Teacher: "Very good! Now what does the pig give you?" Student: "Bacon!" Teacher: "Great! And what does the fat cow give you?" Student: "Homework!"

BUMP Joke of the day: Delayed until tomorrow.

BUMP Joke of the day: A guy shows up late for work. The boss yells, ‘You should’ve been here at 8.30!’ He replies. ‘Why? What happened at 8.30?’