Help With BPD

To make a long story short. I was the happiest person ever, I had everything made, I mean everything. Looks, athletics, friends, ect. I fell off a roof sneaking out and fucked up my ankle. During the period I was fucked up, I went into a state of just sitting in my room and smoking weed constantly, no interaction with people. After about 2 months when I could actually walk, I wasn't the same person. I could no longer find the joy in life like I use to. I was the life of the party, I made everyone laugh whenever I wanted to. Now, I just feel like a 3rd wheel, I still can get a laugh out of people, but NOTHING like I had before. I need help. Any Ideas? I just want to get my life back, and well, be able to talk again?

 

It's your confidence.
You think something has happened to you in some way, so you're putting yourself in a bad state of mind, but really you're fine. Just go out and be confident

Also, did you used to smoke weed before your ankle?

 

It could possibly be the weed... did you smoke weed before your accident, and if you did, how heavily/regularly did you get stoned?

A major problem with drugs like marijuana that aren't necessarily "addictive", is that you can still become very heavily dependent on those drugs to get through your days. It is possible that getting baked all day for the last few months has changed your state of mind, making you lazier, slower, less witty & quick on your feet when it comes to jokes, etc. It is also possible that you are now unable to enjoy yourself or social situations without being stoned, which could be the very thing inhibiting your social abilities.

What do you think? Maybe you should give the pot a break for a little while.

 

I smoked fat everyday, well almost everyday. the only time I was ever at my house was when I had to go to sleep, the rest of the time I was out partying or just chillin in a dope mood. I smoked sometimes during sports (took 27th place at state in cross country as a freshman), so I wouldn't say it was the weed, although it might have contributed. But the start of my freshman summer was the end of the good ol' days, and I went to being a recluse just chillin by myself and talking to randoms everyday trying to salvage some kind of happiness out of my life. I found that alcohol brings me back, it makes me not focus on the stupid things going on in my head and just focus on living in the moment enjoying life, but I know that's a horrible way to cope.

 

Well for a lot of people, myself included, using drugs can be completely responsible for the sorts of changes in your life that you are describing.

When you become dependent on drugs of any sort, it is very hard to cope or get through your days without using them. It becomes normal routine for you, and so all the side effects and residual effects after the drugs have worn off will dictate your behaviour and your outlook towards things everything in your life. When drug use becomes the norm for you, it also becomes very hard to enjoy yourself without being high. This has a huge impact on the way you interact with other people socially, and it is very easy to feel uncomfortable in social settings unless you are using/smoking/drinking, whatever your drug of choice is.

Your reclusive habits and all the time you've spent in isolation could also be a large contributing factor to the changes in your life you have experienced. Perhaps you have just become so comfortable in that environment that it is very hard for you to adjust back into being a social butterfly, and the "life of the party."

I would suggest you try to start enjoying things again without the crutch or drugs and alcohol, and see if you can start to experience the same joy and stimulation that you used to feel when you were with your friends, and when pot wasn't a staple in your daily routine.

 

I use to have friends of all different types. My best friend is actually not a user, and whenever I come down for the summer back to WA, we hang out like 24/7 and enter b-ball tournaments and stuff. The last year I haven't even talked to him, I've barely talked to him. It's like the fear of denial is stuck in my mind even though I know I won't be denied by anybody and it makes me all weird around people and feel like I'm just a 3rd wheel. It's so fucking weird because I know that's not the case but I just can't seem to stop thinking that way and it's making me like that. I look in the mirror and I'm like wtf are you doing....what the fuck are you doing....how has life taken such a dramatic turn for the worst. I look back and I always think, who would have known...

 

i would suggest giving up the weed, honestly it makes people unsocial, and lazy tbh, try and get back into sports again etc. just take a break from the weed and hope for the best.

 

True Dat. Weed can be your best friend but it can also be your worst enemy.

 

Well we all think you should give up the weed.
Post back in like a week and tell us the results

 

I was under the impression that marijuana is a social drug...? I'm almost always hanging out with friends when smoking weed. The effects vary for every person. It's just your negative mindset most likely. Be a little bit more positive and "live in the moment" like you said.