Venting

Okay, I'm not really asking for advice I more so just want to vent but I guess I wouldn't discourage some advice.

Sorry for any mistakes as I'm typing this on my phone.

Alright well I don't really know where to start. I'm 17 years old. My main issue is school. I've always had a lot of behavior issues in school. I'm very intelligent just school isn't for me. I no doubt have a problem with being told what to do. So about 3 years ago I was expelled from school indefinitely. I wanted to take up homeschooling but my parents for some reason think I don't need school! Most kids dream, right? Well in this world you need school to be successful and I'm not trying to end up flippin burgers. So after i was expelled i got enrolled in a homeschooling program where my mother would help me with the lessons and so forth. But she didn't. I honestly wanted to do it. But everytime I asked for help she just told me it wasn't important. So after 2 years of not being able to do my work cause I had no help, I gave up. I haven't been to a real school in 3 years. And I literally ask my parents EVERY FUCKING DAY when ill be able to go and finish my schooling. And they just honestly don't give a flying fuck. They work alot and their only concern is that I'm home ALL DAY EVERYDAY to watch my younger siblings when their at work. I'm tired of the shit. I aspire to be an aeronautical engineer and at this rate in never gonna be able to. That's just part of why my life is so fucked up though.

I recently got out of a relationship with my girlfriend of 5 years. We were together since the 6th grade. I'm not trying to make myself sound innocent,because that's not the case. But over the years with her she's cheated on me, lied to me, basically treated me like dirt. I fucking love the girl and I dealt with thebshit for 5 years. But I've had enough of that so this time I'm really done with her. She developed a drug problem and got into some pretty bad shit. I've lost all respect I had for her and I think there's no relationship without trust and respect. But i still think about her all the time. I guess after 5 years I'm just used to being with her.

Another aspect; I'm handicapped. Not really but technically I am. 3 years ago it was discovered that I have scoliosis. I had a first surgery to have 2 rods and about 20 screws on my spine, hoping it would correct the problem. But of course it didn't. So September of last year I had another surgery, putting 2 more rods and about 10 more screws on my spine. But that's not all folks!! My spine has collapsed, yet again. And they want me to have another surgery. But I'm not going to. I'm tired of being told its fixed nust to find out 2 weeks later its not. 2 days after I had got home from the hospital for the second surgery, I rolled out of bed in my sleep. The next morning I was experiencing immense pain. I have a crazy high pain tolerance but this pain was just unreal. So I went to the hospital,xrays and all that good shit were done. But they told me nothing was wrong and it was just typical pain from the surgery (from experience I knew it wasn't ). 6 weeks later I go to the hospital for a check up and once the doctor gets to looking at my scans he looks at me and says "how are you not paralyzed??" I didn't know what to think. Then he points out on the scam a place where my back has been broken. Literally one of the vertebra is crushed. Then he tells me ; well were just gonna leave it alone and let it heal. 6 fucking weeks i went wit a broken back. Never even knew.

I don't really know what I'm saying here and I understand its all probably irrelevant I just wanted to vent a little and maybe see what some people think about it. Thanks alot guts for taking the time to read. It means alot.

 

Wow man. Whenever you feel bad or think your life is bad. Think about others below you. There is someone who probably has it worst. Think of people who aren't able to move for real. Think of people who are really talented and smart but has no shelter/food, let alone education. Don't feel bad man, just keep your trust in God

 

Wow man, seems like your at a low in your life. Don't worry buddy, times will get better - trust me! Definitely try to get some schooling in, perhaps you can attend another nearby school? (not sure if this is an option). Also, breaking up with girls after a long time sucks, but eventually someone or something new will come into your life to keep your mind off it. Definitely go for a walk around your neighborhood when the weather gets warmer, really helps clear our the mind on things. Best of luck.

 

Hey man, keep your head up when your at the bottom remember it can only get ^^^^^^^^.

 

Life is a constant struggle, but I can see that you are a resilient individual who won't be put down. Keep on keeping on brother.

 

"School isn't for me" is a bit vague. I can't tell whether that's a cop-out, or the result of a valid underlying cause. It might be worth seeing someone to determine whether the latter is the case, though. My brother was kicked out of one school for behavioral issues, and was later diagnosed with ADHD - which, for the record, is quite different from ADD. Anyway, he's a different person on meds than without.

As for homeschooling, it's nice to have someone to help, but it's not necessary. It definitely takes much more discipline to carve out time to study when no one's making you do it, but as long as you have that part, there are plenty of websites and youtube videos that can explain concepts you're having trouble with.