Need help

My girlfriend got in a car crash about 4 months ago, she got into a coma and suffered a very bad brain injury on the left side of her brain, she got out of her coma 2 months after the accident. After she woke up she was confused about whats going on and how and where and why...Eventually everything settled down and the doctors got to ask her questions, she didn't know the date and when they asked her she answered "2010" and when they asked her how old are you, she said 18... she is right now about 23. So she is suffering from partial amnesia, I met her in 2012, and it appears that she has lost her memory from 2015 all the way down to 2010 and all she remembers is the things from before 2010 and all her friends from before 2010, its like everything after 2010 vanished out of her head.

So the problem right now is that she doesn't remember who I am, I showed her all the pictures with me and her and all the conversations and etc, its really creeping her out and it just makes me more and more depressed, I am really sad. she still likes me though but whenever I tell her or ask her about stuff we did before she says that she doesn't remember, It just feels different now its like im talking to a new person, she doesn't love me. I don't know what to do and I talk to her everyday and I try to tell her about stuff we used to do and how we met and all that, it just doesn't work.

 

Man thats like nightmare stuff, Im really sorry dude.

If you love this girl take it slow and start from scratch. You can rebuild a relationship with her again - she's still the same person. Just keep pointing things out and you never know - one thing could trigger a whole host of thoughts and feelings.

 

yeah that's what I thought about the whole time but the process of building a perfect relationship takes a heck of a longtime but I'll give it my all.

I just spoke to her about 10 mins ago, she told me that she is about to hangout out with 5 of her friends from college, and she told me she doesn't remember any of them, makes me really sad for her.

 

Oh man, that's sad and scary stuff at the same time. At least you can appreciate she's fine and has some recollection of memories. Maybe give her some space if she needs it, that could help in her getting back to normalcy.

 

That totally blows. Guess you have to try and start fresh with her, Hopefully it will all come back.

 

What did the doctors say? Is this temporary?

 

They are saying that she might get her memory back in 4-6 months, it has been 4 months now, and it seems that her memory loss is permanent.

We are going out more nowm and I always tell her stories about what we used to do and how she used to be. She almost feels the pain I'm in right now as much as I feel her pain of not remember anything...

 

For one I admire your compassion. Can't image how hard that would be. But remember you can't make her love you, I would suggest you keep trying to an extent.

Remember trying to make her love you all over again is causing you both pain and if you truly love somebody you can let her go, and discover what she needs. You don't have to be with someone to truly love them. Love means you do anything to make her happy that includes having to let her go. Causing pain because you are in pain and want it isn't love you are just torturing both of you.

Thinking about it makes me sick picturing that kind of situation. Personally I wouldn't give up because I wouldn't be able to. You might have an extremely tough choice coming up just remember your options and do your best to take the pain so she won't have to because that's your job as the man regaurdless of the situation.

Also what roary said don't say you're doing it but leave subtle hints about memorable past events you two had. She probably won't say anything when it happens but she would end up having déjàvu recurring more and more eventually leading to memory coming back

Good luck man!

 

I really appreciate your support guys. Everything seems to be improving slowly and i'm really happy!

 

do what you did the first time you guys fell inlove.. do it all over again.. but better



one of my favorite quotes for you dude: “Everything will be okay in the end. If it's not okay, it's not the end.”

 

Truly ashame, but glad to hear she is okay and safe - and your a good man for being there for her during this time. This thread is very interesting, and will definitely keep an eye on it. If you could keep us updated, I (and I am sure many others) would love to see how it goes in the coming months.