Depression

I suffer from depression extreme depression more or less. I was dating a girl for three years but the kicker is I knew her my entire life literally we grew up together went to school together and so on an so forth. She decided she wanted to be more than friends at first I was super hesitant because the break up factor and we could sleep at each others houses because of the fact we were so close and our parents knew each other. So we started dating and I fell in love with her now I know that the term "in love" is used freely but based on my age and life experiences I know I was well still am. So we discussed marriage and planned out our futures marrying your best friend what more could someone ask for? Well in June she called me out of the blew and just said that she didn't love me anymore and hung up and blocked my number. Now I know it sounds like a super shitty thing to do but I feel like there was pressure from her mom based on the fact she was leaving for college and was afraid I was a distraction. The night before we talked and everything was fine and the next morning boom something changes. I can't seem to get her off my mind and it's taking my depression to a new level I'm not sure how to handle it so I need some advice. If anyone trolls or doesn't at least attempt to help you will be reported for spam. Thanks for the advice in advance. (Yes I still love her obviously)

 

I'm sorry for how life is going man, i really hope you are not blaming yourself on this one cause you seem like a super nice guy and for something so uncalled for to have happened must of been really hard.

I really hope that it was due to pressure from her mom, and not her changing her mind about you, cause there was no decency in how she broke up with you in such way, unless of course it was forced upon.

I would suggest meeting up with her and talking it through, (yes you have probably abstained from doing this for a good reason but hear me out) firstly a breakup is never going to be left in good terms over the phone, it may haunt you with depression for a very long time. I know it's harsh but find her, and talk about it, what actually happened? Was it her mom? Did her feelings change? She cant do much about how she acted and broke up with you, so if she feels like it she may even apologize for how she called.

Do you know where she goes to college? Possibly go for a visit. Just express at the door how badly you need to see her to be able to move on with your life.

If everything comes to it, and it was a legit breakup, don't let yourself down, i have been in the same situation, and am now living with woman of my life that i never thought i would meet in my lifespan. Hell she even moved all the way for me from Canada to Europe after knowing me online for 8 months.

 

Yeah I know where she goes to school issue is it's about 2,000 miles away. I have no way to contact her ether being the fact her phone number is blocked from mine. Which her mother did do. So I guess I just wait and hope she contacts me but it's been 5 months and not even a word. Also you always blame yourself for things you feel like you could have done to change the outcome of a situation.

 

Mate, if it has been 5 months chances are she already have forgotten you. I'm sorry.

 

Do you think it was her mum who forced this decision upon here? Maybe find a way to contact her mum?

 

How do you forget about someone who you grew up with and spent literally your childhood with and saw everyday for almost your entire life? I feel like that's not even humanly possible based off the way we retain information.

I personally think her mother had a large part in it she felt like I was going to be a distraction from school. Part of me hopes when she is done with school that she will eventually come back around. She is worth waiting for in my opinion even if it was a harsh breakup. It may sound crazy but when you've known someone forever it's hard to give up on them.

 

She is worth the wait, but the thing is, my friend, you do not know if she is waiting for you, and thats the key point here.

You guys broke up on bad terms, and you believe that she will contact you after school (2-3 years) and come back to you. Firstly you are messing up your own future, you wont be as productive in life, you wont find yourself a new partner whom you can really bond with, if you are stuck in your old ways.

I'm not asking you to forget her, clearly she has been a huge part of your life, and childhood, and this is what you need to tell her. Shoot her a long message saying that you deserve to know everything, and that you are willing to wait for her, but in the condition that she stays monogamous towards you. (which i really hope, but highly doubt.)

Chances are if she started college, that she wanted a fresh plate, and experience the full college life. And you better act soon Niklaus, college is filled with sly boys, and god knows if they'll prey on your ex.

My friend, you lack information, due to the immature way of the breakup, and if you dont talk to her about it, you may hurt yourself for a very long time, possibly permanently, please do me and most importantly yourself a favor, sending her a message. (I am going to be honest here, the fact that nothing has happened for 5 months, shows she is really past you, and she may not be as emotional about the situation like she was just after the break up.)

 

If I had a way to contact to I would have and that's where another issue lies. I have no way to contact her.

 

Doesn't she have Facebook?

 

She may but last time I talked to her she didn't. I didn't ether we were never that big into the social media idea.

 

Imo if she really loved you, deep down, no-one, even her mom would have been able to influence her to break up with you.

 

So your basically saying I need to just move on and not waste anymore time? But the thing is I am not looking for a relationship therefore I don't really have a desire to look around.

 

Dont look for anyone then, but you have to get past her, especially since she has dumped you at the most grotesque way, and ignoring u afterwards for 5 straight months.
What hits most users are that you are waiting for her, i understand ur in love with her, but she has thrown you out bud, and im sorry but if you dont mentally get past her, it will affect you as a person to be around socially.

You said it yourself, youve developed depression, and may lead into social anxiety, which i hope not, but that is one of the most common things that happen.
Once again im really sorry for everything, if you want someone to talk to im on skype, if you play anygames, or anything im up for a chat
skype: doomy1996
: )

 

From a girls point of view if she did truely love you she would of never let anything get in her way of being with you. Girls are stubbon like that and they use that BITCHY ness they have inside them to get what they want. Its been far too long (5 months) and shes probably moved on. The way she ended it sounds like she just enough and wanted you gone out of her life. So many girls get rid of bfs like this when they cant be botherd with them anymore. I hope you find happiness one day and good luck to you.

 

Have you ever thought that the reason she dumped you might be that she is living now 2 000 miles away?

Personally i think it is the reason for it...

Well best thing to do is to get over it... Don't be a pussy, she isn't the only one...
Without telling a reason why she is dumping you is quite sadistic Or maybe she didn't want to hurt you that badly, and thats why she dumped you quick and easy without any explenation...


P.s it is quite retarded to still wait for her

 

I live about 7000 miles away from my girlfriend. So i doubt thats the reason. I believe she did what she did because of shes going to college and youll meet a shit ton of people there

 

I can't really call that a relationship, but then again it depends how much times you both meet up...

 

I recently got back from there after spending 6 months with her, now im back in this shit hole waiting to get my work permit or at least a descision on it until I will go back for at least 1 year.

 

It happens to alot of people.

I can say myself I wasn't the prettiest to my girlfriend. I left her right as I turned 18 (here in Australia that's legal adult age) and wanted to explore a more 'exciting' life. I knew that I was now a legal adult and could do what I wanted, and party, and have fun... And I took that and I ran with it. Not knowing that it was only my mind and temptations getting the better of me. Truly I loved her with everything within me, and my heart told me that. But my head wanted other things. Only realise what I'd done and went back. And never looked the other way since.

I'm sorry you've gone through this man, I know coming from my personal experience with major depression, once you add depression with heart aching emotions it's a recipe for disaster. You seem like an honest and true guy, and your ex-girlfriend obviously doesn't see that. At least, not now anyways...

I would say maybe she loves you too still, but 5 months and no word, plus the fact she's at college seems like things might be over for you guys. If she hasn't bothered to try contact you, whether the reason for her leaving you involved her mother is no excuse. If she loved you man, she would've tried.

But you's are young, and your head sometimes takes over your heart. I can only say mate, that she ran with temptation and hasn't looked back since. And if that's the case, I am sorry. Truly sorry. You deserve better.

Keep your chin up and don't let this bite you down man, especially if you got depression, it will eat you up and spit you out man. You're young, and you have your whole life ahead of you. Don't let some stupid girl ruin that for you. Theres some girl out there that is meant for you.

 

I know how you feel, I went through a bad breakup earlier this year. And I wouldn't wish the feeling on anyone; because it's horrible. Especially when this is your best friend and you feel as though they're leaving and moving on and nothing they said ever mattered or meant anything.

I know it's the last thing you'll want to hear or believe; but it does get better. I know this is cliché advice - but cliché advice is only cliché advice because it's true.

It starts out really bad, because a huge part of your life and time is now gone and you don't have anything to fill the gap with. So start filling the gap, take up new hobbies, go out and socialise, fall back on the rest of your friends, spend more time with family and so on.

Slowly but surely the hurt will become less and you can move on with your own life. Personally I found the hardest part to be when I started looking at their social media sites and watching them move on with their life and wondering how they could do that to me; when you break up you usually have the victim feeling in the situation; but remember on the other side is a person with feelings and needs and a whole entire different view of the world, and this is what they needed.

Sometimes things just don't work out, and I realised that as impossible as it seemed, it was always possible to slowly feel better about it and move on and be happy with someone else.