Very Depressed..

I'll try to make this as short as possible.

I am (was) in my second year of police college, a part of me says I will not make it because of my health. Was diagnosed with Crohns 12 years ago. In November I said enough.. I was tired of killing myself every time I ate because I hurt so bad even drinking a glass of water. Doctor scheduled surgery for Dec 10. Was not afraid at all, been suffering for over 12 years. That day they removed 15cm of Intestine and 20cm of colon. I woke up with my hand on a controller to pump pain meds when ever I wanted it (was nice lol). I was so well the second day, I was told I could go home on the 13th.

I tried to reach for my laptop on the second day and felt a pop in my abdomen. Didn't think anything of it but that sound was my intestine ripping apart because the surgeon said that he didn't know how sick my guts were. I didn't think anything of it and my nurses said I needed to walk because it was gas pain. It got worse and worse and the third day I couldn't move an inch of my body without me bursting into tears. Went for a CT scan and within 5 minutes I was rushed to surgery because I was going septic. Almost died on the operating table.

I woke up with a huge open wound, like a fish. They couldn't close me up because fear of infection. My wound is still 1 inch wide. I also woke up with an ileostomy. (Piece of intestine hanging out of my belly and a bag attached to it to collect my waste.)

I am doing a little bit better now... But I am very depressed because I can't finish school this year. My grades were so bad toward December because I was in the hospital more than school, so I will redo that semester in September and my final semester in January. I cannot do anything .. I am at home doing fuck all, all day.

Anyone else go though a similar situation? Anyone with my illness also? Always love talking to people who go through what I go through.

Might upload a picture later.

Thanks for reading, just needed to get this out there.

 

Just stay strong and hope for a speedy recovery. Best of luck!

 

If you ever need any help or support on this feel free to PM me anytime. I went through the exact same thing twice lat year at the age of 17. I have crohns also, luckily I had some of the best surgeons fly into the mayo clinic the second time and Don't have to have a bag anymore. I've had it since I was 8 and wasnt diagnosed even though I was tested multiple times. The first time I almost died on the table because I perforated 2 times and all my fluids form the intestine flowed out, It's a miracle they where able to get my heart beating again, let alone not going into complete organ failure from how infectious that stuff is. All that happened on January 6th 2013. Then after a recovery, it happened again on September 9th.

Please for the love of god If your still in there get up and walk. I was out for 6 weeks the first time because I wasn't pushing my walks hard enough. If your still feeling pain after you press the button every 5 minutes or w.e it was, call the nurse in and have her bring the morphine. They shot that stuff in me and I couldn't move for 15 minutes, after that your numb for 3 hours, and you can walk. Be careful though, to much will just prolong the recovery because it does stop your intestines from moving around. Pain is a good thing. Once the gas pains unkink your intestines you will be able to shit again. After that they can release you. I got a 6 inch scar down my abdominal with two sets of holes on each side of it from staples. Count your blessings my man, this shit will take your life.

I've been right where you are twice in the last year, I absolutely mean PM me anytime anything is happening with you. A little support goes a long ways.

 

just thinking of the imagine you described in your thread has made me feel uncomfortable, I can't imagine living it. You are very tough for surviving, and I've mad respect for that. I am going to go ahead and give you the best luck to recovery and that you never have to go through that again, as it sounds extremely painful.

 

Just be brave and couragous, gas problems can lead to alot of things like GERD, Im scared of gas myself cuj I once had chest pain due to it

 

Glad you are okay. Maybe you should reconsider your occupation. With your condition, the job could be fatal to your health.

 

Wow, that is incredible. Never knew I'd be in a very similar situation with someone that has the same condition. I've been home now for 3 months, I moved back to my apartment away from my mom because of her I'd be in bed all day not walking lol. I'm healing better here now since I have to do everything on my own which is perfect. I never cry, but I do if my bag blows up two times in 12 hours, which happened yesterday... Do you have a trick for when you fall asleep so your bag doesn't explode in the middle of the night? This is my one annoyance. I have two drains though because I have infections from going septic. I HATE them

 

And thanks for your support
Everyone aha. Appreciate it

 

Get well soon and may the lord bless you with a speedy recovery

 

This sounds like A horrible experience and I wish you best of luck on your recovery. I wouldn't worry too much as I'm 100% sure the tutors will understand your situation and be totally fine with it. Just think of it as a break, A well earned one in your case. Keep your head up bro. Good Luck.

 

Allthough I cannot "judge" what you are going through as I havent had to do that, I can sort of feel how you feel in a strange way. -

What you are feeling really is that you are "depressed" because you want to acheiv something, which in your eyes is the police position that you have been doing, which is no different to say a footballer having an tear/break and having to sit out or even leading upto an operation - This means you are now as you said "eating" to help your emotions get the best of you - because its what we as humans often do to try take our minds off things, which sometimes leads to further damage to us.

With this being said - I would take it easy, and try rest I know its annoying trust me I really do, I hate having to wait for things - Even simple things like the bus I find myself waiting 2-3 mins then walking off but all you can do is look at overtime processing and hope the best for yourself to have a speedy recovery.

 

Thanks for helping guys. I don't know, I am currently weaning off my pain meds now, Been on them for over a year because of major pain and the last 3 months because of surgical pain. The withdrawals are so coool! (Sarcasm)

 

Update.

Feeling very good. Had my ostomy removed back in July, have a sweet battle wound. Going on a nice 10 day cruise soon. I think I deserve it

 

Very glad to hear mate!

 

Glad ur doing good. That description made me cringe inside sounded awful. Hope nothing like it happens again.

 

Great. Just take it easy and always remember that for every dark night there's a brigher day hope you have fun at the cruise. ENJOY!

 

Hope you're doing well mate, you're very strong and by just reading your post, I don't think many other people could maintain the strength that you still possess right now. Always here to talk , feel free to shoot a PM

 

Thanks peeps Making me smile. This time last year I would still be in the hospital after being there for 2 weeks, and wondering what I have done to deserve being in the hospital for christmas and having the worst time of anyone's life.

 

Pretty sure I have Crohns.....last semester (which was my first) I visited the ER 3 times. I had diarrhea about 8 times a day for 2 months strait. The first time they just said I was stressed out, the second and third times they both said I was dehydrated. I have had this problem for years, but not as bad as this year. Thing is it was 3 different ER's and they all said I don't need to see a GI specialist. Now that I am home for break I booked myself to see a GI specialist.

 

Keep strong. My prayers are with you