Seeking Advice/Help

It's one of those days where im feeling cold chills again and i have been in the contemplating phase for a couple of days now.

Alittle bit about myself

I'm 19 and currently depend on runescape for my expenses/rent
I live away from my parents with an old friend
Anti social due to picking the Profitable path over socialisation

I've spent the past 4 years of my life chasing the same one girl who has constantly broken my heart and let me down and whenever she needed someone
or a shoulder to cry on, i was the one to be there but my experiences with her has changed me as an individual and turned me into a cold hearted person
i've been contemplating killing myself for the past 4 years and have spoken to the good Samaritins many times and heard the same shit over and over and over
all of it " It will get better " " Give it a year " " You'll find better " and i have listened, waited and tried. But im now under severe depression

I also havent spoken to her in over a month now, i don't have much left to say anymore but i haven't lost any feelings for her.

after losing a fair amount of money due to a couple of gambles and errors but apart from that gold trading is a horrible horrible job, Although it requires barely
any effort it is one of the most depressing and nerve wrecking jobs but everyones got to make that money and i don't hold onto the idea of losses for long due
to the fact i've planned that i have an exit out when i need it.

So when the time comes and the world takes its toll more then needed i'd be able to end my life.


Conclusion : Severley depressed and in need of advice and general conversation, Seeking advice from someone who actually understands this stuff.

If anyone wants to talk please post some contact details here and i will add you from an msn or skype