Why do girls always go for bad boys?

Like I really like this girl we're really good friends but she doesn't see me as that boy with a bad profile who likes danger, and she isn't into guys that are good and don't take any risks, But it's really frustrating me because we have an instant connection/bond when we talk, it's like we can just speak about random stuff for so long that the time just flys, she's so cute and makes me smile more than any other girl i've came into contact with, but it hurts being around her knowing how I feel, I'm not a coward or anything I've sat down with her and mentioned stuff like Oh so how was that day with the guy the other night just to see her reply, she says something like, oh he's alright but wasn't really my type he was abit boring didn't do anything dangerous that got my adrenaline pumping so I know she wouldn't enjoy my company in boyfriend material, but I have spoke to my friends about this, they say they love the way I am, and I shouldn't change just for a girl, but how I feel inside it hurts, because I've known her so long and kept all this inside, and if I told her it might ruin our friendship?

Where I live in England, there's lots of different stereotypes as I guess there are all over the world but in this particular case she's into what you would call a "chav-rude boy" With a bad attitude, the type of guy who messes with girl's cheats on them, yet girls still go running back too them? I just don't see what the major attraction is to them, is it there tracksuits and new era hats and stuff? I mean I dress casually jeans/chino's. lyle and scott polo shirt maybe even Ralph Lauren, so I wouldn't feel comfortable changing that either.

 

How old are you? The main reason I see girls going after those kinds of guys is mainly caused by immaturity. If she is a smart girl she will grow out of it, but some don't and for some reason always go after those kinds of guys. I wouldn't tell her anything yet and just remain her friend and one day she will realize the guy she should be with.

 

I'm 19, I've been out with a few decent girls in the past it's just I really like this girl and wish she would understand, yeah I just wish she wouldn't though it's like really difficult as I'd like to tell her it's just I can't.

 

Things that happen man, just be yourself.

'Never give up on something that you can't go a day without thinking about'

 

Yeah I am, and not giving up, untill she realises.

 

They don't always go for us. Some girls just like a change of pace from the butt-slapping varsity guys.

 

It's really just because it's what the world is telling them to do. On T.V and movies the girl normally does go for the bad guy, so everyone expects it to happen in the real world too. Also, like fball expertly pointed out, they're just immature and probably going out trying to get a boyfriend for fun, not a committed relationship.

 

I think girls like the idea of "fixing" a bad boy, and I think secretly they like alot of the excitement and drama that comes with dating a man who is a little riskier and does what he wants. Of course there is probably also an element of nature in the whole equation.. I would not be surprised in the least if girls were attracted to bad boys because bad boys are usually more aggressive and outgoing, which is a trait that would have made a man more likely to survive and provide protection for a female back in the day.

Not to toot my own horn, but I would definitely consider myself as a bad boy They say opposites attract, and it is definitely true because all the girls I am attracted to are always very smart, beautiful, innocent or have strong beliefs, morals, and values. I think in a way, a "good" girl like that really compliments my personality and helps balance out and "tame" alot of the worst qualities in me, and I think that I offer a chance for excitement and an interesting relationship, something that a straight edged good girl would find quite exciting and adventurous if they live a fairly straight edged lifestyle and/or are used to dating good boys who are rather boring.

 

That's a very detailed answer but yeah, you're right, I could change, but should I for a chance with the girl I love?

 

No! Definitely not. I didn't mean to give you that impression at all, I was just trying to offer my opinion on why girls go for bad boys. Honestly, changing yourself just to fit somebody elses needs is never a good thing - unless the change is positive. Like quitting drinking/drugs, making an effort to stop initiating fights in the relationship, make vows to be a better person etc.

In this case its an even worse change.. because you would be changing into a "bad boy" which is probably not a good idea anyways, and if you are not already a bad boy then that is just who you are man. You can't just become bad on purpose, and start smoking, drinking, drugging, treating women like shit, breaking rules or w/e else makes a bad boy "bad" and hope to actually find some decent women.

This one girl unfortunately may not be interested in you as you are right now, and that is HER problem. Eventually she is going to grow up and get sick of all the shitty, abusive boyfriends she has had in the past or the boyfriends that have been total losers and aren't going anywhere in life. It will be at that moment that she feels like a dork for not realizing the great guy/guys she had in front of her the whole time.

 

I think its mostly immaturity and they want to experience something. The main types of girls that want the Bad Guy type are the bad girls or a girl thats been on lockdown (like her parents have had strict rules on her for all her life) and she's just found independence. I wouldnt pressure her too much, as in i wouldnt keep being in her face and flirting. Id just let it run its course and when she wises up she'll get tired of all that and find a decent guy to be involved with. ( i presume you)

 

its the whole image I get girls that go for me I dont know why and thats the only reason I can give .......... because I am a idiot in general

 

Yeah she doesn't seem interested right now but she still texts me things such as 'You ok then gorgeous mr?' but like that has a friendly feel to it, and really aggrivates me as I just want to say look, Stop doing this, I don't want friends with you, I feel alot more, but obviously I can't just yet. Yeah I'm hoping she grows out of this stage like you say, I just don't want to feel second best, and obviously she talks to me about all her boy problems as she mentioned girls are bitchy she preffers to speak to guys, so she comes to me with her all her issues, I'll just try point her in the right direction very slowly

 

Have you tried just simply talking to her, and explaining exactly how you feel? I mean things are already awkward enough with all the misread feelings bouncing around, I would just have a straight talk with her and tell her, "Look, I really like you. You are perfect, blah blah blah" and make eye contact with her so she knows you are dead serious.

If she doesn't respond well to this then atleast you have a definite answer and you know that it is time to move on and stop wasting time on her. But who knows, maybe she will reveal that she feels the exact same way and she just simply thought that you did not like her back, or she was too shy to say anything?

Sometimes when close friends like each other, they will purposefully dump their relationship problems on one another in an effort to fish for the reaction.. for example, if she likes you, maybe she just spends so much time talking about these boys, or flirting with you purposefully in order to gauge your reaction and determine whether or not you like her back and its "safe" to make a move? Who knows man, girls are very mysterious creatures.

 

If a girl is looking for that kind of person for a long-term relationship then it says something about her taste

As other people have said it's probably something that people grow out of once they realize that stability is a good thing and having a boyfriend who's in jail is pointless

 

Yeah thanks man, I really agree, maybe just a learning curve?

 

I'm sure it is just one of those things that for some reason, people need to learn the hard way before they figure it out.

The bad boy thing might be cool when you are a girl in highschool and want to be seen with a popular, "bad boy" who breaks all the rules and looks really cool. But like Noobmage said, later on down the road those sorts of girls will likely figure out that having a boyfriend in jail is not the sort of stability and protection they need and want.

In the end, I think women will be much more likely to choose a man who lives a stable live, can provide for a family, and who has "good" qualities vs. the bad boys that have nothing going for them anymore. Most girls in highschool are incredibly shallow, which is very unfortunate when you are that age and have no choice but to go after girls in your own age group, but all those girls have to mature and grow up at some point. When that time comes, you will have a huge advantage over alot of other guys if you are still a stable, genuine person who cares about women and knows how to treat them right.

 

You write so much, you really know alot about this subject, then I feel like a idiot just writing a little back, but yeah just hoping she does actually grow out of this because I spoke to her earlier she even said, I know what i'm expecting when I go out with these type of boys but it's just something she's drawn to because of the drama and violence, and she told me she feels like she's more protected with a guy like this :/

 

Haha sorry man :embar: I always write way too fucking much in like 90% of my posts and I don't know why.. I consciously make an effort to shorten them as much as possible, but sometimes I just have so much to say that its hard to condense it into just a few sentences. Sorry if its alot to read!

Now about your lady friend, I do not want to criticize her because if you like her then there obviously must be some wonderful qualities in her that you see, and you guys have a great friendship. But in my opinion, she just unfortunately sounds like she is really shallow and kind of looking for trouble. The fact that she acknowledges the kind of baggage that usually comes with the "bad boys" and she is attracted to the drama and violence should be red light for you.

If you are really torn up about this girl but it doesn't seem like she is going to come around any time soon, I think it would be best for you to move on and avoid any more heartache. I just find it sad and with a sick irony that she feels more protected by those sorts of guys... because the only kind of protection those guys can offer really is physical protection, which is nothing compared to the sort of stability and comfort that she could feel in an actual loving relationship.

You should save yourself for a girl who will fully appreciate all the wonderful things you can offer her, rather than wasting your time on a woman who is seeking out an abusive, drama filled relationship. I think there are alot of girls out there who would find themselves very lucky to get into a relationship with you You just have to keep looking!

 

You should definately not change because of a girl, I have been in a relationship with my girlfriend for almost 2 years now (1st feb) and its a really great thing but come on man, single life is great aswell we all know that and if you really want a thing with this girl, and you can't be a badboy, try romance.