Most painful event/situation you have lived through?

Don't be shy! Come in and chat

I was originally going to post this in the "Off-Topic" section, but decided it might be more suited to the "Personal Support" section of the website instead. I understand for some it may be painful to talk about certain experiences, but if you wish to share them with us just to get it off your chest, or to discuss & heal with the other members of Sythe, please feel free to contribute.

The Questions​

- What is the most painful (emotional/physical) event or situation that you have lived through in your life? This could be ANY sort of situation.. a car accident, an illness that impacted your physical health, a loss of a family member, a devestating breakup etc.

- Do you feel that this situation has left a severe impact on your life, and/or changed you as a person and led you to where you are and who you are today? Was that change/impact positive or negative in the long run?

Unfortunately, hardships and traumatic events are just a natural part of life. Everybody goes through them in varying degrees at some point in their lives. What better way to deal with them than by sharing your experiences with other people, allowing yourself the opportunity to heal by discussing, acknowledging, accepting, and learning how to move forwards? I look forward to reading some of your stories and responses, and I will soon post my own

 

umm prolly that not traumatic, but i was in a car crash. i was 6 at the time and my dad was driving me and my brother to a baseball game. we were late so he rushed and ran through a red light...next thing i know the car flipped over 3 times on the side. at the time my brother and i "didnt believe in wearing seat belts" so we didnt have them on when the accidentally happened. long story short NO ONE was severely hurt (my dad had a cut or something from the airbag and the other driver was fine), but both my brother and I learned our lessons...

 

No this is perfect, thankyou for sharing

In my books, a car crash can be a particularly traumatizing and scarring experience. Your crash sounds especially serious so it is good to hear that you guys all came out of it without any serious injuries.

You talk about your old belief that wearing seatbelts wasn't necessary or much of a big deal.. has this incident changed your outlook on safety in vehicles now? Sometimes these sorts of situations are great learning experiences, and I believe alot of them happen on purpose, to help us learn important lessons in our lives.

 

oh yes, it has definitely changed my outlook on safety--no question about that. i am much older now and am able to drive by myself and with other people. If I have passengers, I always tell them to put their seat belt on now; even though i might sound like a d**k to them.

 

That is really good though man, it sounds like it had an overall positive impact on you and your life

 

The most traumatic event event in my life so far was the time my brother overdosed on heroin and had to be rushed to the hospital. His face was bluish, he was barely breathing, and was half asleep, incoherent, and shaky as I tried to get him dressed. He could have died easily that night if we hadn't moved him to the hospital in time.

 

Wow, that is a very powerful and moving experience for anybody to go through. I imagine it being especially traumatizing being a family member and feeling helpless, not knowing whether he is going to make it or not. How has this event impacted you and your brother's future? Did he go into treatment after this event, or realize that he had a problem and seek help? Was it a pivotal moment in your families awareness of how serious his problem was?

I am a heroin addict myself and had my most serious overdose this past June, so I can totally relate to you and your family. If it weren't for the fact that I was randomly with one of my true, old friends instead of one of my junky friends, I am almost certain that I would have died. I was sitting on a barstool when I did the shot and apparantly I fell unconscious before I hit the floor. Luckily he called 911 immediately, if I had been in a drug house or anywhere else the chances of people being too scared about their own well-being to call the paramedics for me probably would have killed me. They arrived less than 5 minutes after he called and I apparantly had stopped breathing completely and my face and lips were starting to turn blue. One shot of Narcan and one ambulance ride later, I woke up puking all over myself in the ambulance on the way to the hospital.

I know that in my situation, this was a big eye-opener for my family and I was rushed into treatment almost immediately after. The saddest part is that at the time, I was so 'out of it' that I did not even realize how serious the situation was. I signed my own release form from the hospital, called somebody for a ride home, and was shooting dope again later that night. I look back though and I feel truly blessed that somebody as stupid and ignorant as myself as granted another chance at living. I think we all tend to take for granted just how fast our lives can be ripped from our own hands.

 

Last year November 27th , I was hit by a car . It wasn't so much as painful because I only scraped my elbow . I just felt bad because my girlfriend was there and witnessed the entire thing . She thought I was dead .

 

I guess mine is pretty pathetic compared to others but so far the hardest thing I've had to deal with in my life is a girl. Can't get her off my mind and I don't find excitement in any thing any more that doesn't involve her. She doesn't even know about it though. (It's weird and best for the time being that she doesn't know though, also this has been going for a month or two.)

 

Glad to hear your ok! That must have been horrible for your girlfriend to go through at the time, and I'm sure it made her realize just how much she loves/appreciates you.

Thanks for sharing Bubba Don't feel that this is pathetic at all, because its not.

I can relate to you tons. Out of all the crazy shit that I have been through in my life, the absolute HARDEST thing I have had to deal with thus far in my life is losing my highschool girlfriend, and my first love. We dated all throughout highschool, and for a year after graduation, and were totally, completely in love the whole time. I always felt we had such a special connection and felt so bad for people who have never experienced such a thing, but towards the end things got really tough.

Basically, I began going through some rough things and my girlfriend also came to a crossroad in her life where she had to choose to either stay with me in a city she hated, or move back to where she grew up and spent her whole life until the beginning of highschool. We began drifting apart over a number of months and the stress of being so young and trying to figure out what to do with our futures got in our way. She missed her home, her child hood friends, her whole amazing life out there and we were having problems at the time and so she chose to go back.

I think that has been the most significant event of my life, largely shaping where I am today and who I am. It was the biggest lost I have ever felt, the most depressed I have ever been, and probably the darkest and most hopeless hole of my life. I still miss her to this day, and dream of her almost nightly. It is like the universe is torturing me and constantly reminding me of all that I have lost. I will be amazed if I can ever find somebody to love again the same way that I loved her. It also hurts watching her heal, pick up, and move on with her life, and I feel like a loser who has destroyed mine instead of trying to be strong like her. She was my pillar in alot of ways and life without her is much harder than I ever envisioned.

So I feel for you man! I think you should tell this girl you are stressing over that you like her. What do you have to lose? It is not worth the agony you will feel over never knowing.. I would like to hear more about the situation and how it unfolds

 

I'd have to say just getting out of a situation.

I used to drink about twice a weekend, and drive on top of that. I'd drive to a friends house or back home if needed. I'm not an alcoholic or anything but my parents sent me to some B.O.A.T. treatment for underage kids with problems. It was weird, but I changed on my own. I still drink occasionally but no where near as often and I don't drive. I stay the night or have my girlfriend drive.

 

He had been in other rehabilitation facilities prior to his overdose. It made it slightly more difficult for me to concentrate in school and, for my brother, has made him realize that he's going to die if he continues using. I think I have a closer relationship with him now, because I have come to realize how easily he could die from using heroin. My family knew how large of a problem his addiction was for some time, but this really set my parents off and is causing them to be much more anxious. Another concern of mine is the cost of rehab, that my parents are paying for. Previous facilities we had him go to had cost anywhere from $5,000-13,000 a month, and since we're still paying off a mortgage, we're really really struggling financially. Initially, he was the one who sought treatment, and started going to NA meetings. But it doesn't seem like he wants to kick it, since he has kept relapsing. Or maybe, it's just that addicting.

I hope you're able to quit. I can't imagine how difficult it would be for a parent to lose their child. If your addiction is ever making you anxious, you can send me a private message anytime you want to talk.

 

Well it sounds like something happened during the whole process that helped you to realize that drinking and driving is dangerous and can get you into alot of trouble. Sometimes those kinds of situations can be very positive in the long run, as it seems to be in your case. Now you can drink responsibly and make better choices surrounding drinking and organizing your rides. Good for you man, I'm happy to hear that

Unfortunately, an addiction of any sort has very intense and long-lasting emotional consequences on the addict, and every single person around them who is involved in their lives. I can only imagine how hard it must be to live every single day worrying about your brother's well being.. it really makes me sad to think what I have put/am putting my whole family through too. Both of my parents, all 3 of my younger brothers, my friends etc.

The financial burden can have an incredible impact upon your life aswell. If your parents are struggling financially, it can cause alot of tension in their relationship, which rolls downhill and causes tension and high stress in your life and in your family life at home. I thank you for your kind words and I appreciate the gesture, I will definitely consider sending you a PM to talk about things sometime, especially knowing that you can relate and are going through the same situation with your brother.

I hope your brother can get clean one day too. It is horribly frustrating to stand by helplessly and pray that the addict will be able to stop on their own. Until he makes that decision, there is really nothing you or anybody else can do other than just show him love & support and help him see the good things in his life that he can have if he gets off the drugs. Maybe your brother could get on methadone, or suboxone to help him get off the drugs comfortably? I take methadone daily and it has done alot of great things for me, granting me enough stability in my life to be able to start building a normal life again, with normal routines like school, maybe a job in the near future etc. Attending regular meetings is pretty important too. Good luck and god bless

 

Probably last year, when my parents separated, and then this year when my dad moved across the country to California. It's been a pretty tough time, but not so much for me as for my sisters. Just tough on a family overall, but, you make it through. Only get to see him a few times a year now.

And Bubba Fuzz, not weird or pathetic at all, the same thing has been going on with me. I can't stop thinking about her, but she has so many other guy friends, and it seems like I'm the least of her priorities. She'll come to you, as I'm sure you're a great guy and you seem to genuinely care.

 

Thankyou for posting Ignition

I am very lucky in the sense that my parents are still together.. this seems quite rare in this day and age, and I have seen many of my friends have to deal with their parent's splitting up and seperating. It can be extremely hard on some people, and I can think of many things that have a bigger impact on your life and your future. All of a sudden you have 2 families instead of one. I hope that things get better for you and that your family can adjust and your parents become happy once more.

Also, I hope you and Bubba can talk to your girls of interest and make some progress there. It sounds like you both have met some fantastic girls I would like to hear more about both of your situations if anything changes!

 

the past 3 years weren't easy to me
grandmother died my parents wanted to split up thank god they didn't
and almost got kicked out of university
and i turned my life upside down


I always say a picture is worth a thousand words

look how my grades gone up each semester

 

Well, a lot of stuff has been pretty rough, but from what I can tell, not as rough as the impending tragedy of my failing 3-year relationship. It's going to hurt.

 

Bambino - Good for you man! I always get inspired by a good success story, somebody who overcame tough situations in their life and managed to pick themselves up and move forwards. Congratulations on the recent grades! I can only imagine how good it must feel to achieve those A's and B's after buckling down and putting in the hard work. (is has been awhile since I have had A's or B's lol).

Kill Dank - I feel for you man. I gave a slight description of the story in a previous post of mine, but when my 3 year relationship and first love fell apart, that was by far the hardest thing I have yet dealt with in my entire life. Also the thing that has had the most severe consequence on my life aswell, mostly due to bad choices I made during the hopeless and depressing time. Just keep your chin up dude and if you need to talk about it, feel free to PM me/post here.

 

Well the most painful time for me emotionaly would be August 2008. My grandad passed away and he was like a father to me. He took me paragliding, scuba-diving, he personaly went snowboarding and was one of the most active people i knew. He had been snowboarding in the Alps 3 months before he died, and it just came as a huge shock. I couldnt even bring myself to say my goodbyes to his face and had to do it over the phone as i couldnt stand to see him dying in bed since i know how active he was. He passed away of cancer and so i always try to do things for cancer charity's or anything to do with helping people with cancer. Ive got the light purple cancer ribbon tattoo'd on my back which is the symbol for all types of cancer, and also my grandad's name D.O.B and D.O.D on my back.

For the most painful physicaly, i would have to say dislocating my hip also in 2008 in Feb. I not only dislocated my hip (left leg from the hip socket), i completely tore my Glutius Medius, Glutius Maximus and illiac crest vertualy severing my left leg off. I was on crutches till just before my granddad passed away, but im still left with life long weakness in my left leg.

 

Wow Lord, this is very powerful and sad to read about. I have experienced a very similar situation when my Uncle, who used to be extremely active, fit, and an avid outdoorsmen, as in a terrible car accident and ended up quadripilegic for 9 years until his death a couple of years ago. I know how painful it can be to have to see somebody go through that and I can only imagine the loss that a person in that situation would feel, being completely unable to do the things that give them the most enjoyment out of life.

I am glad to see you fighting with all your might against cancer now, and trying to make a stand against the disease. I know a few people who have been indirectly affected by cancer aswell and they are very positive about it, and dedicate a large chunk of their life to helping other cancer victims and to raise money for the cure. Maybe one day you can organize an event or fundraiser to honour your Grandpa and raise money for other people who are suffering through the same thing? I wish you luck with future endeavors you may have, and hope all is well with you now.

Thanks alot for sharing!