Whats the funny joke you have ever heard`

I just wanna hear some jokes from sythe's members not having a good week need something to make me laugh..


Here is one to start it off.. Not that great one of my friends told me it this morning only joke I remember lol.

A lawyer married a woman who had previously divorced ten husbands. On their wedding night, she told her new husband, “Please be gentle, I’m still a virgin.”

“What?” said the puzzled groom. “How can that be if you’ve been married ten times?”

Well…

“Husband #1 was a sales representative: he kept telling me how great it was going to be.
Husband #2 was in software services: he was never really sure how it was supposed to function, but he said he’d look into it and get back to me.
Husband #3 was from field services: he said everything checked out diagnostically but he just couldn’t get the system up.
Husband #4 was in telemarketing: even though he knew he had the order, he didn’t know when he would be able to deliver.
Husband #5 was an engineer: he understood the basic process but wanted three years to research, implement, and design a new state-of-the-art method.
Husband #6 was from finance and administration: he thought he knew how, but he wasn’t sure whether it was his job or not.
Husband #7 was in marketing: although he had a nice product, he was never sure how to position it.
Husband #8 was a psychologist: all he ever did was talk about it.
Husband #9 was a gynecologist: all he did was look at it.
Husband #10 was a stamp collector: all he ever did was… God! I miss him! But now that I’ve married you, I’m really excited!”
“Good,” said the new husband, “But… why?”

“You’re a lawyer. This time I know I’m gonna get screwed!”

 

Its quite funny but too long to use in real life.

I'm not really the joke type =]

but its good

 

they're was a guy with no legs or arms like on the beach next the to water
a hot as chick comes up and feels sorry for him
she says "have you ever been hugged?"
he says "No" felling lucky
she gives him a hug, then says "have you ever been kissed?"
he says "no" and she give him a big one on the lips.
the lady then says "have you ever been fucked?"
amazed the man say yells "NO!" excitedly.
she says " you will be when the tide comes in" and leaves.


=P i like that one, hope that cheers you up

 

what do you call a fly with no wings.....a raisin.
sorry just had to fling that one out there

 

That was awful. D:

 

weak =D

 

I r have teh ownage one
There are 3 men in a boat in the middle of the ocean, one american, one chinaman, and one australian, and they need to throw out things to keep the boat floating.
So the Chinese man gets a box of chopsticks and throws it into the ocean and says "We have too many of these".
The american throws a hamburger, and says the same.
Then the Australian grabs the Chinaman, and throws him out saying "We have too bloody many of these."

Sorry if it's distastefull.. Go go Sydney and you'll see my point rofl. I love this joke.

 

Ok i have another (i know my jokes go down well here, seriously this joke is good) - There were three explorers who got captured by natives on an island. The natives asked the first explorer 'death or bungabunga'. Obviously the explorer did not want to die so he said 'bungabunga' instead. The natives then stuffed grapes up his butt. They then asked the second explorer 'death or bungabunga?'. The explorer replied, 'bungabunga'. So the natives then stuffed apples up the explorers butt. Lastly the natives asked the third explorer 'death or bungabunga?'. The third explorer saw the natives getting the pineapples ready and he didn't want to experience the immense pain if they stuffed pineapples up his butt, so the third explorer said 'death!'. The natives then said to him 'death, by bungabunga' and stuffed pineapples up his butt until he died!.

Was that better than the first one?? (note: some people don't think that this joke is funny and others think that this joke is hilarious)

your ratings please.

 

http://www.sythe.org/showthread.php?t=317011

This one its really funny and all my friends enjoy it too. Dumb gays. lol pay em out

 

lol the gay one's hilarious

 

a man walked into a bar and said ouch

 

Dragon the sad thing is I get yours. But guys I liked all your jokes thanx

 

That was real funny that little guy was screwed. I thought his arms and legs were going to be buried.


I have one like the gay one.

These 3 men are caught by a Nstive American tribe, they say we will offer you a chance to free yourselfs by bringing something to our village queen to eat. So they set out and the first brings grapes, she takes one then spits it out and says shove it up his ass. Then the second returns with apples, she does the same but the entire time he is laughing, the first guy ask what is so funny and he says our friend is coming back with a watermelon.

 

Jaamal that's a good one lol

 

Thx, I love jokes, (In peter griffin's voice) It pleases me...

 

I hear a lot of mom jokes lately

 

Think most people have heard it:

4 gay guys walk into a bar, but there is only 1 stool. So the bartender, realizing they were gay, simply turns the stool over and says problem solved now all four of you can be comfortable.


I think that's how it goes?

 

knock knock
who's there
interupting cow
interupting cow w-
MOOOOOOOOO

 

well this one is a bit racist but its funny tbh

your moms like a brick...




















































she gets layed on both sides by a mexican

 

Haha, yeah that's the one that I heard of. And it still makes me laugh once in awhile.

Your mom is like a vacuum,
she sucks, she blows, and gets laid in the closet.

Not a good one, =\ but something I remember from months ago.